It’s Sunday night; the end of a long, crazy weekend and Monday morning is looming. After doing all the work you meant to do over the weekend, you’re about to have a chilled evening of catch-up tv.

Then you get a phone call from your best mate, aka your ex. Bottom line is that he can’t be friends with you anymore because a girl thinks it’s weird. This girl has been in his life, online, for 7 days – no, he has not met her. You have been in his life for 10 years…

After lots of shouting and general disbelief, the phone call ends. Whether you’ll see each other in 3 days, 5 months or 2 years is anyone’s guess.

Then comes the grovelling phone call.

I’m so sorry; I didn’t think.

No, he didn’t.

You’re exhausted, he’s crying. You can’t be arsed.

End of phone call and he texts you to say you should meet up for a coffee – it will make him feel better.

24 hours later there’s a let’s be normal, trivial, text. Needless to say, you don’t reply.