Is that really appropriate…?

Watching First Dates and reflecting on my own checkered dating past has highlighted an array of guidelines on what to do (and what to avoid) on a first date.

Conversation.  Don’t talk about politics, death, marriage and babies, exes or money.  End of.

Alcohol.  Don’t get really drunk on a first date.  This is from personal experience.  I was nervous.  I got plastered.  He was very affectionate and paid for everything (probably thought he’d get a shag out of the date), we went our separate ways and I went to bed thinking it was a really successful date.  How wrong I was.  And I blame my weakness for alcohol.  Trust me – mistaking ‘Dutch courage’ for getting wankered is a bad, bad plan.

Sex.  ‘If you really like them, try not to have sex with them’.

The bill.  Always an awkward moment when two people who are trying to impress each other fumble about with their wallets.  If it’s decided that the bill should be split, for goodness sake don’t get a calculator out!  Try and work it out in your head; faffing about with calculators is demoralising.  I once went on a date with a guy who couldn’t work out half of £50 – is it better to admit to having shit mental maths and get out a calculator or to look awkward and hope the other person tells you how much you owe?  A friend said ‘I’d be concerned if someone couldn’t work out half a number’.

It’s also deeply uncomfortable when a massive deal is made out of paying the bill.  It stunts the conversation and adds an awkward air to the date.  And what about not paying service?  Yes, we have all been on a budget at some point, but service should be paid.  It was painful to watch First Dates when one guy refused to pay the service tip; it made him look stingy and that’s not a fab trait; best avoided on a first date.

Any thoughts, do comment.


Image from Pexels.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. dfwguy2015 says:

    The way I do things is if I ask you out I pay. Conversation topics can always be tricky but I have found that if you’re lucky to have a connection with someone even if it is just a friendly connection then all topics are open to discussion. It really depends on the person.

    One of my friends said if she thinks she will eventually have sex with a guy she doesn’t mind sleeping with him on the first date.

    However I would say for most guys if you do that you’re opening yourself up for a lot of other issues unless you really just were wanting to fuck and not actually build a relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The V-Pub says:

    All excellent points. I would imagine that if #1 isn’t observed, then #3 is not going to happen. As far as the bill is concerned, if I were short on funds, I’d make sure that I didn’t go to a place where I couldn’t afford the bill and tip. Rules to date by! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve always offered to pay half a meal cost… But if its coffee, I’ve often insisted on paying! 🙂 i think its lovely when the guys happy to pay but i always insist on being fair, too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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