Can you be nice and sexy?

This year I’ve learnt that although personality is important, it’s not absolutely crucial and looks are more important than I anticipated.

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now and we’ve progressed into relationship territory.  According to mutual friends, he was interested in me, so we met at social gatherings, went for drinks together and had the odd sleepover.  More recently, he came to visit in Brighton and we’ve spent weekends together.  I found him attractive, but possibly in hindsight, I think I found the idea of him more attractive.  Initially, he seemed great:

  • Late 20s
  • has a job and a passion that come together
  • amazing at cooking
  • gentlemanly
  • kind
  • interesting
  • we have mutual friends

In so many ways, he couldn’t have been more different to my ex (rebound?!), but as the months have gone on, he’s actually rather similar.  He’s been fired from his passionate job and wants ‘a boring office job’ to tide him over.  He also doesn’t seem to have a drive to live an exciting life with long-term goals.  He finds me ‘intimidating’ because I have my shit together.  However, there are differences: I thought my ex was stunning, he dressed to kill and was very charismatic.  He also recently called to say he’s still in love with me.


Why is it so hard to find a bloke who is:

  1. sexy
  2. kind
  3. driven?

And why am I still asking the same question 3 years later?!

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Holly and Eliza says:

    Mr. Nice and sexy is out there for you. He just might be appear across several guys. At my age, I’m now wondering whether it takes a village to appreciate all the aspects of a person and meet their needs. (I don’t mean be the village bicycle. Besides, ugh what an awful phrase). So here’s a radical thought: Find one who respects how together you are. Find another who looks gooood. Another you’ve got chemistry with. Yet another who digs being your best friend.


    1. Fantastic advice. Cheers.


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