I sent a whip-around text to some girlfriends a few days ago, asking them to rank these in order of importance for a guy: personality, face, intelligence, figure, sense of humour, relationship with your friends, their friends and their parents. I was intentionally vague; not specifying if I meant for sex, a date or a relationship.
The things that were ranked as the most important were: sense of humour (three friends), face (two friends), intelligence (one friend) and personality (one friend) and figure, interests, relationship with their parents and relationship with friends (both yours and his) were rated as the least important factors.
Since April, I’ve learnt a lot about what I value in a relationship. I split from my gorgeous ex because I felt that personality was more important than looks, then I stopped seeing the next guy because I realised physical attractiveness was crucial for a relationship I was seeking, and now I know that a sense of humour and someone to laugh with trumps it all. For me, the most important thing is someone I can relax and have a laugh with. I want someone who, when I chat with them, it just rolls off the tongue. I want someone kind and fun. Recently, I’ve been in contact with my ex and as much as I’m aware we’re just friends, it has made me realise how much I value someone I can have a giggle with. In everything I do, I strive for happiness and I live by ‘do what makes you happy’, so for me right now, I want laughter from a guy. When my ex and I are together, I laugh so hard I double over and can’t walk or talk. He knows what sets me off and he knows how much I value fun and laughter. As romantic relationships, health – and therefore work – are going tits up, I need stability in other areas; which is currently coming from my friendships and family. Wishing I could stand by what I said a few months ago, I have a guilty feeling whenever I meet with him. We’re just friends, but he’s making me bloody happy at the moment, and that’s all I’m after – for now.