I think it’s much better to be wanted than needed.
But is it rude to tell someone you don’t need them?
Here’s why I don’t need you:
- I can cook
- I can clean the house
- I drive myself around
- I can sort car issues out
- I have my own social life
- I’m not afraid to go to a restaurant alone
- I can zip my dress up (and unzip it) on my own
- I can change the light-bulb if I balance on a chair
- I can assemble furniture on my own
- I can fix a broken fridge
- I can rewire a plug
- I can work out why the TV isn’t working
- I earn my own money.
So when I say I don’t need you, it’s a compliment; I want you in my life.
But when you say you need me, I am filled with sadness, even though you think you’re being kind.
I support you
I make you a better person
You need me
So the reasons you’re with me are for your own benefit? Not because I make you happy, or we have a laugh together, but because I help you be a better version of yourself.
And telling me that I’m ‘amazing’ and that you love me every day isn’t enough. You need to bloody prove it.
So now it feels I’m back where I was. But at least I’ve remained less attached and can see the whole picture.