Our date was fun but I came home feeling ambivalent towards you. I was reluctant to accept a second date, but I thought there could have been some attraction there. I hoped you wouldn’t spoil it, mainly because you had life experiences , motivation and interesting things to talk about – you ticked a lot of boxes but were yet to tick the ‘I want to kiss you’ box. Basically, I wasn’t sure if I fancied you. After our date you were really eager over text; borderline pushy.
Since Monday, you continued to message constantly. When I said my plans with friends were cancelled, you were keen for me to come over to yours. And then you were talking about our second date (due to be on Thursday) – lots of comments about how we can ‘snuggle’ and how you miss kissing me… Excuse me? We kissed once. And it wasn’t even a snog. You were already acting as a boyfriend and it was freaking me out.
When Thursday rolled around, you said I should come to yours. I told you I didn’t feel comfortable coming to your house.
I was beginning to dread our date; I didn’t want to go and it was looking likely that I may have been in a position where I’d have to say ‘no’ or might accidentally recoil when you touched me. And that wouldn’t be nice. For either of us.
So I cancelled.
I am not one for bailing last minute, but it was the best option. It wouldn’t have been fair on you and it would have been a waste of time for both of us.
What I did learn from this is that I should trust my gut instinct and that attraction is something which is felt instantly. Although attraction can develop and evolve, a ‘spark’ needs to be there and it can’t be faked or forced.