We’re not all coupling up, so don’t say that we are. Some of us are working bloody hard to find the right kind of relationship, and I suppose that’s because some of us are more particular about what we’re looking for. Or we set our sights further afield. Or we’re aiming higher. Or because we have the kind of job where you don’t meet young, attractive, driven men. Or some of us are just having a bad streak.
I went away from my last date unsure of his intentions and how he felt about me. A week later, it seemed promising and another date was looking more likely.
Then he disappeared. As they all do.
When everyone around you is pairing up, it’s hard to remain optimistic and constantly tell yourself that you just love being single. And the bullshit couples talk about, ‘God, you’re so lucky that you have no ties. There’s no dirty boxers / kickers on the floor, you don’t have to check-in with anyone to let them know where you are, and you can snog whoever you like’ is totally undermined when you overhear them saying to other couples that, ‘As much as I’d love to go out with everyone, sometimes I’d prefer to stay at home and chat shit with my best mate [referring to girlfriend] and spend all evening in bed together’.
Yes, I know, and that’s what I’m looking for again.
I’ve dated different kinds of guys, I’ve had different kinds of dates, I’ve dated guys from dating sites and those I’ve met organically. I’ve ended the dates in different kinds of ways. I’ve paid for everything. I’ve paid for nothing. I’ve gone dutch. And although I’ve changed nearly everything external in a bid to find a guy, I haven’t changed who I am or how I present ‘Me’. Despite ‘Me’ being the constant, this cannot be the problem.
Because if I’m what the problem is, then the future looks bleak.
My dad told me to expect a high rejection rate and try to accept it. So, I’ll continue to date, be prepared to be ghosted left, right and centre and know that I will couple up again one day. I will be able to choose a night in with my guy rather than a night on the town.