A week ago, I matched with a guy on Bumble who (almost immediately) told me he’s swiping to find a woman to join him and his girlfriend for a threesome. Then he changed his tac and said that actually he and his girlfriend are not in a good place and he’s looking to date. Why didn’t I unmatch him then?! After chatting for a bit and getting to know each other, we arranged to meet in a few days’ time. Annoyingly, he then kept steering the conversation to sex asking me intimate details about what I like in bed. I worked hard to bat off his questions and tried to guide the conversation away from sex but with little success. I intended to cancel our date, but (fortunately?) he bailed first. We resumed conversation and he calmed down on the sex chat – I was feeling hopeful.
I was looking forward to our art gallery date and was being (wrongly) lulled into the idea that this guy wanted a girlfriend rather than just a hookup. On Thursday afternoon, he messaged to suggest we change plans as Central London would be very busy with Pride celebrations and how about we go for drinks in the evening or do something on Sunday? I suggested we avoid London and he comes to Brighton for drinks on the beach.
He then sent a series of messages about how he couldn’t be bothered to make the hour-long journey because he works long hours and travels a lot in the week and it’s a bit of an effort for a first date. I mentioned that I, too, work long hours and travel a lot. And does he realise he’s expecting me to do exactly what he’d prefer not to do? My phone lit up with grovelling text after grovelling text. I decided to trust my (initial) gut feeling and delete his number.
I’m pleased I didn’t go on the date as it probably would have been a waste of time for both of us as we’re mismatched and he was surrounded by Fuckboy flags.
Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash.
Still Searching for Prince Charming 
Well done you!! Saved yourself a lot of wasted time there!
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He probably figured out that you were out of his league and likely would have rejected him. Nobody’s going to tell you that: he gave you an excuse that would make him look lazy – better than looking weak and cowardly.
Or, he could just be a lazy and selfish.
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Let’s hope it’s the first 😉
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I think people are being way too harsh about this. From my understanding you were going to go London to see him? Then he said art gallery? But then pride happened, and it was rammed. So I’m assuming the plan went back to drinks, but you said Brighton? And he said that he works really long hours and travels a lot in the week so he didn’t want to go all the way to Brighton? Maybe that’s just the truth though. It’s not about fuck boy thing and stuff. It’s literally hes exhausted. I had a long term thing with a girl and she used to work and travel alot and I know she was the same at weekends. From my experience with guys they are normally very sly and good at lying but seems to have just told you the truth here. I guess my message is, which helped me find love, it’s not about jumping to conclusions but it’s trying to empathise with that person’s lifestyle and situation.
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I was at pride on Saturday and it was rammed there… I also used to work long hours in the week and travel hours a day, if you do it, over a long period and its actually draining and the last thing you want to do is travel far on the weekend. I like your blog been reading it alot, but seems like he might have just been telling the truth
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Thanks for reading and following. I fully appreciate that he probably was telling the truth, but I didn’t want to waste time with someone who wasn’t prepared to make an equal effort, especially as he was starting to seem like a fuckboy with all the sex chat. Thanks for commenting x
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Death to the fuckboys! Well not actual death, but death to their behavior lol!
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There’s too many Fuckboys about and we need to show them it’s not okay.
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Yes!!! Good for you for having the strength and boldness to block him. I think a lot of women struggle with that.
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Thank you 🙂 Mainly because of plenty of bad experiences, but clearly I’m learning a lesson.
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Yea it took me a while to learn that lesson. I feel bad for the girls who think they can turn a fuckboy into a husband.
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I think it can happen, but very rarely.
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