In a moment of weakness, I texted my ex the other day. This time last year, he told me he had got his shit together. He said he stopped all the drugs and alcohol and had a better job. We all know this only lasted 2 weeks. But
scrolling through his Facebook page stalking him the other day, it seemed as though he really had stopped his old ways. He’s moved to London. He has a new job and regular hours. And he’s still single.
Fortunately, it was a casual text, asking how he is and how London life was treating him. He’s read it and not replied. But funnily-enough, this hasn’t had the same effect as this usually has.
Maybe I instinctively knew that striking up a conversation would be a bad idea.
And then I saw his Snapchat story update and I realised I had an idealised image of him in my head (coupled with my other guy having been a a bit M.I.A). My ex is still smoking-up with mates. So maybe he’s not quite what I want him to be…
Caitlin Moran says we should never be with someone we think we can mend. When problems started cropping up, I thought I could fix them.
I couldn’t, so we broke up. Then he seemed to be fixing his own problems himself. He wasn’t. So we broke up again. Do I honestly think I can fix him again..? Of course I won’t be able to. And quite frankly, it won’t be fair on him if we get back together to satisfy my want for cuddles. I know I’ll break up with him (again) as soon I see his true nature (again). Seeming to be kind to reignite a relationship would be pulling a blanket over something really, really unkind – to both him and myself. And I’m a nice girl, not a bitch.