I’m a nice girl, not a bitch.

In a moment of weakness, I texted my ex the other day.  This time last year, he told me he had got his shit together.  He said he stopped all the drugs and alcohol and had a better job.  We all know this only lasted 2 weeks.  But scrolling through his Facebook page stalking him the other day, it seemed as though he really had stopped his old ways.  He’s moved to London.  He has a new job and regular hours.  And he’s still single.

Fortunately, it was a casual text, asking how he is and how London life was treating him.  He’s read it and not replied.  But funnily-enough, this hasn’t had the same effect as this usually has.

Maybe I instinctively knew that striking up a conversation would be a bad idea.

And then I saw his Snapchat story update and I realised I had an idealised image of him in my head (coupled with my other guy having been a a bit M.I.A).  My ex is still smoking-up with mates.  So maybe he’s not quite what I want him to be…

Caitlin Moran says we should never be with someone we think we can mend.  When problems started cropping up, I thought I could fix them.

I couldn’t, so we broke up.  Then he seemed to be fixing his own problems himself.  He wasn’t.  So we broke up again.  Do I honestly think I can fix him again..?  Of course I won’t be able to.  And quite frankly, it won’t be fair on him if we get back together to satisfy my want for cuddles.  I know I’ll break up with him (again) as soon I see his true nature (again).  Seeming to be kind to reignite a relationship would be pulling a blanket over something really, really unkind – to both him and myself.  And I’m a nice girl, not a bitch.



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