Find your core.

Your core is kindness.

A friend recently said.

Kindness is your soul.  Do not change.  Be true to your core even if others fuck you over. 

These ‘others’ can be any ‘them – us’ group. 

This year, the ‘others’ have been men.  They have screwed me over again, and again, and again.  And I’m fed up.  My mum is worried this maltreatment will change me.

30.3.18 – Update: If maltreatment does change me, it changes me for the better.  It makes me stronger and wiser.  Bad experiences with men make me connect better with my core.  They’re an opportunity to reassess my values and what I want out of life – what’s important to me and consider how I ended up in a hostile situation and what I can do differently next time to avoid it happening again.

My friend claims that knowing your core through recognising and naming it, you can find yourself when bad things happen.

I hope she’s right.

For the last 5 years in my twenties, I’ve known what my core is.  I know who I am, what I want and where I’m going.

I am lucky enough to know my core values and stick to them.  I have a high level of self esteem and I can ignore the negativity of people who bitch about me.

30.3.18 – Update: A friend read this blog post and commented on how self-assured I am and not many of her female friends have this self-awareness.  I wonder why this is?  

I’d have hoped that by the time we’re in our mid-twenties, we’d know what our core values are.  But does that depend on the life experiences we’ve had?  Does it depend on our support network?

Do we need tough life experiences to wear away our outer shells?

Can we find our core if our outer layer still remains?

 

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