Are we all players?

Here are some snippets of conversations I’ve heard 20-something men have when I’ve been out and about in London and Brighton.  Food for thought…?

  • Guys claim women are more likely to be players now.  Guys hate that ‘women hold the power’.  They reckon some girls only want a guy if she can see he has money.  Guys find this weird.
    • Can they understand why girls can’t stand players?
  • A guy goes on a date with a girl.  She disappears off to the loo.  She’s found half an hour later dancing with other guys.  Clearly, the date isn’t going well.  He’s pissed off, ranting that girls are mean and are all ‘c**ts’.
  • Guys can see that lots of women want to do better for themselves.  Girls are becoming picky!
  • You need to lower a woman’s self-esteem…don’t show her any interest and within 10 minutes, she’ll be drawn to you!

  • Guys boast about sure-fire ways to get girls to respond.  Send a compliment.  No effort needed, the fire emoji 🔥 or the love-heart eyes 😍 ‘guarantee’ a message back.  A guy can chat to 100s of girls and go on 50 dates in a few months.  Simultaneously, he’ll complain about not being sure if the girls he’s talking to are chatting to hundreds of other men.  Like a true hypocrite, he berates girls going on tonnes of dates and playing the field…
  • Guys say when a girl says: ‘Hi, how are you?… How was your week?… I like your tattoos’, she’s saying: ‘I want to have sex with you’.  Guys claim sex is on tap.  Girls will go round to a guy’s house if she likes his photos.  It’s like online shopping – swipe ‘yes’, into your basket and into your bed.

  • ‘Did you end up at hers?  If you didn’t, it wasn’t a good date’.

  • Guys say you can have sex and never talk again: ‘Mate – your aim should be to get a girl, not a girlfriend’.

    • Who are these girls who (supposedly) want this dynamic?  In fact, who are the guys this appeals to?

  • Women ‘fucking around’ is a total waste of time – they should be husband-hunting and trying to make babies…!  Should men be ‘wife-shopping’?

  • Dating is expensive.  Even before a date, there’s pressure to give off a desirable image on Insta – fancy watch, snazzy car, Moet at the weekends.  It’s a drain on resources: money and time!  Don’t get me wrong; I’m all up for goin’ on dates; better to meet the wrong bird than sit on the sofa drinking beer, watching Match of the Day and scratching my balls.  But, I want that one bird to spend my time and money on.  My wallet’s getting rinsed, mate!

  • ‘Mate’ says: Get on Tinder – have a shag!

  • A guy wants to find someone he can spend the rest of his life with and trust them.  He can’t trust anyone on Tinder.  It breeds deception.  Anyone can have sex from Tinder, but no one can find love.

So, are dating apps making us lonelier?  Realistically, swiping on a smartphone is not the answer to everlasting love, nor is messaging 24/7.  So why do we do it?

Because of hope.  Because everyone knows someone who met their partner online.  Because these apps are addictive.  But hope can run out.

My optimism is waning and my patience is thinning.  And I think, underneath the bullshit men spout to their friends, the single ones are tired of playing the field, too.  At least I hope so!

Photo by taha ajmi on Unsplash

4 Comments Add yours

  1. the latest with me is guys saying how women call them ‘trash’ and so women are ‘raccoons’ ????!!! it doesnt make sense ik, maybe its an inside guys joke lmao but anyways i loved this post! ALSO isnt it amazing the stuff you discover when youre out and about! i would love to visit brighton ❤
    sareena x


    1. What does that even mean?!
      Absolutely; just sitting in the pub waiting for a friend or having lunch with a book and you can glean so many insights. Brighton is brilliant! X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. i love the beaches and how coastal is it, i live in birmingham, not coastal at all :/ xx


      2. All for more reason to visit Brighton. ☺️ x

        Liked by 1 person

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