Over and over again.
Even when you’ve let yourself down.
Even when it feels uncomfortable.
Even when you’re tired.
Choose yourself.Chidera Eggerue
When things aren’t going to plan, it’s more crucial than ever to love and care for yourself. I’m still on the path of a career change, and I have a lot of free time. To fill this time (when I’m not applying for jobs) I’m seeking out new hobbies and learning different ways I can care for myself. However, the most significant means of self-care in this time of flux has been to see a counsellor. For a few months, we spoke each week about the problems I’ve had with guys, where these might have stemmed from and what we can do moving forward.
For anyone going through a tough time, or a time when more clarity would be beneficial, I whole-heartedly recommend finding a supportive counsellor. It’s been nearly two months since my last session and my outlook on life has shifted and I’m in a better position to know what I want and go after it.
No matter how much time I choose to spend with myself, none of it is ever wasted. I am a lifetime investment and I am worth the wait.Chidera Eggerue
Spending money and time on seeing a counsellor, developing myself as a person by reading wider, exploring new hobbies and holding out for a job that I adore is a luxury I’m aware not everyone has, which is all the more reason for me to be immensely grateful and enjoy this unique time in my life.
In my quest to find new hobbies, two have filled me with passion:
Alongside my writing, pottery allows me the opportunity to be creative and playful and immerse myself into the activity. I can’t use my phone, or read a book – there are no distractions and I enter a state of ‘flow’, becoming totally absorbed in the feel and smell of the clay. I also use it as a sort of ‘self-therapy’; I trust my subconscious to work out problems and dilemmas and draft blog post whilst I consciously mould the clay.
I have always loved books and my new career stems from this love. What I didn’t realise is that book clubs could be so much fun! Who knew reading could actually be a social past time?! I’ve joined two book clubs in Brighton, both happen to be mainly young women but the groups complement each other as one focuses explicitly on fiction books and the other on non-fiction. In fact, I went to my newest book club last week because I had read the focus book: ‘What a Time to be Alone’ by Chidera Eggurue (and so prompting me to finish this post that has sat in my drafts folder for months!)
To learn that we are all worth investing in ourselves helps us to discern the people who we want to invest our time in and those we do not. People come and go in our lives and not everyone will treat you how you treat them, and we need to understand that it’s okay to leave people who consistently, and ungratefully, sap our time and energy.
Once I learn to own my space, I will never be afraid of deciding who deserves access to it. I am a special person and I deserve the same respect that I go out of my way to give others.Chidera Eggerue
So, here’s to us all believing we are special people and expecting the respect we all give to others.