10 things you should probably do to maintain a new relationship.

So, you’ve got the guy! Well done, the hard part of ‘will he, won’t he?’ is over. Assuming he’s worth the effort, now comes the challenge of keeping the guy.

I’ve learnt a few of these along the way, and I try to bare them in mind in the hopes that my relationship will last.

  1. Communicate. I’ll say that again: communicate. Talk to one another, about your days, about your worries and about your plans. Include each other in your lives and they will grow together.
  2. If the start of your relationship was characterised by good sex, try and maintain that sex-life. Put in the effort and you’ll feel much better for it.
  3. Make time for each other. I used to cringe when couples had ‘date night’ posts all over social media, but it’s important to have some time together that doesn’t involve friends or housemates.
  4. Try and learn together. Take up a hobby, share existing interests, read together. Whatever it is, to share knowledge and help each other grow will help to strengthen that bond between you.
  5. Plan ahead, but not too far ahead. It’s probably safe to assume your S.O. will still be keen to go to the festival with you in 3 months’ time. Booking flights for an abroad-wedding in a year or two’s time? Maybe not, not just yet.
  6. Learn to compromise – seek help with this if needed. Speak to people who model ‘relationship goals’ for you. Or speak with someone professional.
  7. Find out what your S.O. loves and dislikes about you. Aim to do more of the former and less of the latter.
  8. Escape hum-drum life. If you can, book a little trip away. We’re easily stressed by life-admin, so remove the catalyst and treat yourselves.
  9. Engage in each other’s passions. Take time to talk about and listen to what makes each other tick.
  10. Maintain your sense of self. Ensure you take time to re-connect with yourself. Before this relationship, you were an ‘I’. After this relationship you will be an ‘I’. And within this relationship, you are still an ‘I’. It’s not selfish to take time out and indulge in what YOU want to do. Your relationship will be all the better for it.

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