If you’re single for a sustained amount of time during your twenties, by the time you get to 30, you realise you have dated (or slept) with people you never thought you’d date. Here are some of them:

1. The guy who’ll send a barrage of dick pics and then proceed to try and have an ordinary conversation
2. The guy who only responds with one-word answers (over messages or in person; perhaps you’ve dated both kinds of men)
3. The guy who will entirely ignore your messages but ‘like’ all of your social media posts
4. The guy who admits to “practically shitting out a watermelon” before your date
5. The guy who invites his friend on your first date
6. The guy who is so perfect on dates but completely useless in the bedroom
7. The guy who is completely inept on dates but oh my…
8. The guy who utters “juice me” (or something equally horrific) when about to ejaculate
9. The guy who says after sex, “can’t wait to tell my mate about THAT!”
10. The guy who says, “soon this will carry my seed” whilst his hand is resting on your stomach
11. The guy who’s probably a bit too young for you
12. The guy who’s quite a bit older than you
13. The guy who you know is completely wrong for you, and yet you find yourself drawn to him
14. The guy who is so gorgeous that you ignore all the red flags
15. Oh, and plenty of catfish.

By the time you’re 30 or have been actively dating for a substantial amount of time, you’ll work out the kind of guy who suits you. Fortunately, with this wealth of experience, you’ll find shortcuts to seeing if he’s worth pursuing or if you’re better off ceasing communication. Here are some of the tell-tale signs I’ve discovered to help me find the right sort of guy for me:

• Avoid the kind of guy who requests intimate photos or sends unsolicited dick pics
• Avoid the guy who talks about your future on the first date or two – he probably just wants to shag – notice the red flag and don’t get swept away
• Avoid any guys who play games
• Avoid narcissists
• Avoid the guy who is rude to waitresses and waiters
• Avoid the guy who constantly talks about his ex, or speaks about her rudely or bitterly
• Check his bookshelf – if he doesn’t own more than a handful of books, don’t shag him. You can learn a lot about a person by their bookshelf
• Avoid the consistently selfish lover
• And the ultimate sign: if it feels too much like hard work from the beginning, it’s unlikely to be worth pursuing a relationship. 

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash