My darling best friend spent a long time considering his successes and failures and sent me a very long message. Wishing to do it justice, I’ve decided to write it out as he shared it with me so it maintains his voice and the eloquence in which he shares his experiences.
Aa, thank you xxx.
For me, I find it hard to recognise failure. I believe that if I’ve failed at something, then it’s a sign that whatever I’m attempting to do is at the very limits of my current capabilities [I love that he writes ‘current capabilities’; demonstrating his unfaltering ambition to develop as a person.] and that particular failure (no matter how big or small) is actually an opportunity to learn something I didn’t know previously.
I can confidently say that I only have one regret in life and that is to lose the only girlfriend I’ve ever truly loved. This has haunted me for the past seven years because, deep down, I know what I had with her was special. It wasn’t until I lost her that I realised how hard it would be to find anyone that could ever come close to how she made me feel. I assumed the grass was greener and left her to pursue fast thrills and fast girls (both of which were attempts to replace long-term pain with short-term fixes. I now understand that we were both too young to properly nurture the love and passion we had for each other (I was 22 and she was 19).
Looking into this shallow pool of regret, I see this as a reflection of my failure to appreciate someone that was truly special to me. [I didn’t know he could write like this and I thank him all the more for speaking so beautifully about his dejection.] My deepest fear now is that it’s a failure I’m still yet to learn from.
On the flip side, I see a lot of success in my life. Not because I’m rich, with lots of power and a portfolio to make Lord Sugar’s seem sour [he’s none of these things], but because I believe that success is all around us – you just need to know how to look for it.
My most poignant success is the move I’m about to make from the UK to the USA [which I’m terribly, selfishly sad about]. I’ve travelled to the US many times and before I even had a passport I always wanted to live there, but never knew how to do it. Whilst at university, I tried to engineer a placement year in the States, but I couldn’t raise the extortionate funds required to do so. A few years ago, I took my mum to Miami for a holiday. One evening, while walking along the Strip, I had a lengthy conversation with her about how desperate I was to live there – but again, I didn’t have a clue how to make it happen.
Against this wall of adversity and unknowns, I set my intention to make it happen and began to believe it would. I took meaningful steps towards my goal because I was 100% convinced that I would make it happen in some way, shape or form.
Last year, I lost my £40k salaried job in London, under a set of very unfair circumstances.
That in itself was actually a success, because I anticipated that I would leave as a victim, with my confidence shattered, but I adjusted my attitude and also managed to acquire a £10k settlement pay-out from it, too.
The very same week I became a free agent! A company that I had been pestering on LinkedIn and Instagram for a few years (a Virgin travel company based in Miami) told me that they were in London holding interviews. If I hadn’t lost my job, kept in contact with the Virgin company and maintained my belief in this dream, I wouldn’t have got an interview or subsequently the new (dream) job.
That was six months ago, and since then I’ve moved from London back to my parents’ home, taken on minimum-wage jobs and gone through extensive tests, medical exams and visa interviews just to keep the dream alive.
But now, I’m less than two weeks away from starting the new job, and starting a new success story while on the adventure of a lifetime!
No doubt, this year will be filled with failures; everyone’s will be – but for this amazing man, I’m certain there will be plenty, plenty more successes to come.
Image from Pexels.