BDSM Glossary (N-Z) (NSFW & 18+)

This post was originally written for Torture Garden and posted on their blog. Torture Garden is the world’s largest Fetish and Body Art Club with global events attracting open-minded individuals of all sexual orientations and genders.

By Holly Field.

Read Part 1 (A-Z) here.

N

Needle Play: Using sterile needles to temporarily pierce the skin.

O

Objectification: When the dominant partner dehumanises the submissive.

Orgasm Denial: The submissive person can only reach orgasm with permission from the dominant partner.

Owned: A relationship whereby the submissive partner consents to being “owned” by the dominant partner, usually the Master – an extreme version of D/s.

P

Pearl Necklace: How semen looks when a man has ejaculated onto someone’s neck.  Also Torture Garden’s iconic event.

Pegging: When a strap-on dildo is used for anal sex.  (Usually female-to-male.)

Play: The BDSM activities that make up a scene.  Also a type of fetish activity.

Ponyboy or Ponygirl: The submissive is instructed to behave like a pony whilst wearing a pony outfit – including a mouth bit and an anal plug with a tail.

Power Exchange: When people consent to a dynamic whereby one person (or people) deliberately takes control.

Protocol: The rule(s) people agree to follow during BDSM activities.

Pup Play/Puppy Play: A sub is ordered to behave like a puppy; barking, yelping, whimpering, eating from a bowl etc.

Pussy Torture: Torturing the vulva or vagina for sexual pleasure.

Q

Queening (aka “Facesitting”): A sexual act in which one person sits on the face of another for oral sex or rimming.

R

Restriction: Hindering a partner’s movements by tying or binding parts of their body.

Rimming: Licking someone’s anus.

Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK): Understanding there are risks in BDSM activities and the play should only be pursued when these risks are acknowledged and understood.

Rope Bondage: Using rope to restrict someone’s mobility.

Rope Bunny: Someone who enjoys being tied up with rope.

Role Play: Adopting alternative identities for sexual activity.

S

Sadism: The act of inflicting pain for sexual gratification.

Sadism and Masochism (S&M or S/M): Signifies one person (the sadist) inflicting pain on another (a masochist) and both gaining sexual pleasure as a result.

Sadist: Someone who derives pleasure from inflicting pain on, or humiliating, someone.

Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): All BDSM activities should be safe, consensual and embarked on when not under the influence of drugs or excessive alcohol.

Safeword: A word or phrase agreed between partners that the submissive can say during an activity or scene to stop the play.

Scat Play: Play that involves faeces.

Scene: The time in which BDSM activities take place.  Also, more generally, the BDSM community (“The BDSM Scene”).

Sensation Play: An act whereby sensory limits are tested, such as through sensory deprivation, exploring temperatures or new textures.

Shibari (aka “Kinbaku”): The art of Japanese rope bondage – using simple, yet visually appealing and complex, patterns to tie someone.

Slave: One partner gives total control of one, or more, parts of their life to their Master.

Soft Limits: A flexible boundary; someone might be willing to explore their soft limits but is hesitant to do so.

Sounding: A smooth rod is inserted into the urethra.  The rod is usually made of metal and can vary in diameter.

St Andrew’s Cross: Bondage furniture with points to attach restraints – shaped like an X cross.

Sub (from “Submissive”): A person who relinquishes control to another, either in the short term or constantly.

Subdrop: An experience that can happen to submissives after intense BDSM play.  Symptoms can be cold- or flu-like in nature, melancholia, anger, clinginess etc. and can last for about a week.  Subdrop can be avoided if adequate aftercare is provided immediately after the play session.

Submissive: A person who relinquishes control to another, either in the short term or constantly.

Subspace: A natural high a submissive can experience during a BDSM scene or when being dominated.

Suspension: A form of bondage that usually employs rope.  The submissive’s weight is taken in the bondage construction, either fully or partially.

Switch: A “switch” is someone who enjoys being dominant as well as submissive in BDSM scenes.  The role they play can change with partners or during a session itself.

T

Top: The person who plays a dominant role in a BDSM scene; usually controls the scene.

Topping from the Bottom (TFTB): When the bottom tries to take control of the scene, despite it being agreed the top would take the reins.

Total Power Exchange (TPE): A relationship whereby the dominant partner controls every aspect of the submissive partner’s life and makes most of the decisions.

U

Unicorn: Considered an elusive figure; a bisexual female who wishes to join a heterosexual couple for a MFF threesome.

V

Vanilla Sex: A common phrase in the BDSM community to refer to sexual behaviour that is kink-free.

W

Water Sports: Play that involves urination.

Wax Play: Using specially-designed candles, the top (partner) drips hot wax onto the body of the bottom (partner).

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Image by Klaus Hausmann at Pixabay

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