Have the UK’s new porn restrictions left you feeling horny and frustrated? Join the club. Introduced as a means to protect children from accessing harmful content, the recently introduced Online Safety Act has made it harder to view adult content online. There’s no debate about this being A Good Thing, but it’s understandable to forget this with your hand down your pants or while reaching for your favourite sex toy.

You’ve got 5 options.

1. Make an account. Were you initially reluctant? Have you now succumbed?
2. Go analogue. Support your local high street and scour the top shelves for “lads mags”.
3. Flex your creativity. Dream up a sexy fantasy or remember the hottest sex you’ve had.
4. Scroll through static images and gifs. Search some saucy tags on WordPress for (mostly AI-generated) pictures, and revel in the delight of finding a quality filthy blog in the midst of the tits. (Is that how you found me? Follow me for more sexy content.)
5. Enjoy “porn” with a (proper) plot line. Read books about sex, novels with seriously well-written sex scenes (blog post to come), or dive into Netflix’s sexiest films and TV shows.

Here are some of the most memorable and sexiest films on Netflix right now.

Sex/Life (series):

This series really is porn with a plotline. Billie finds her perfect life caving in (and steaming up) when her sexy, bad-boy ex, Brad, appears. The lead characters are smoking hot, the script’s decent, the acting’s good too – and there’s a whole lotta sex.

The chances are you’ve seen (or heard about) character Brad Simon’s schlong. That’s because it’s hugely memorable. Want a reminder? Check out series 1, episode 3, 19 minutes in.

Other notable sex scenes from series 1: The opening scene in episode 1, where Billie and Brad get it on in a club; episode 2, 29 minutes in features Billie and her sexy husband skinny dipping in a wealthy neighbour’s pool before he goes down on her, poolside; and in episode 6 at the 3-minute mark, Billie’s just moved in with Brad and they have delicious chocolate-drizzled sex.

365 Days, 365 Days Later, 365 Days Now (a trilogy of films)

This trilogy is bursting with sex. The storylines are questionable, the relationships portrayed are toxic (borderline abusive), the scripts are pretty rubbish, and the acting’s not great, but watch the sex scenes and you’ll forget Pornhub even exists.

The hot bits from 365 Days: The shower scene, about 45 minutes in. Then, merely 5 minutes later, Massimo (played by Michele Morrone) restrains Laura (the woman he desires so much, he’s held her captive) so she has to watch him receive a blowjob from another woman. About an hour in, they’re on a swanky yacht, and the sex scene lasts almost 5 minutes. Fifteen minutes on, the pair are in a steamy bathroom having standing sex against the mirror. And at around 1 hour 30 minutes, they’re shagging in a penthouse encased in floor-to-ceiling windows.

Babygirl (film)

Nicole Kidman plays Romy, a high-flying middle-aged businesswoman who finds herself in a Dom/sub relationship with her intern, played by Harris Dickinson. The sexual tension alone between these two characters makes Babygirl a saucy watch, but the BDSM in it make for erotic viewing, too. Samuel’s a cocky Dom and, despite being 20 years younger than Romy, seeks to recruit her as his willing sub. There’s a lot that’s wrong with this film, but the sex scenes are fabulous.

Subservience (film)

Get over the bad acting and creepy AI character, and you’re in for some hot sex scenes. Michele Morrone plays Nick, a husband struggling at home with his young kids while his wife is in the hospital, so he buys an AI robot called Alice (played by Megan Fox) to help. Predictably, Alice alleviates Nick’s woes beyond her intended purpose. Enjoy the post-shower scene when Alice seduces Nick (38 mins in).

Obsession (mini series)

When William meets his son’s fiancée Anna, sparks fly, and by the start of episode 2 of 4, they’re having very sexy sex indeed. If you’re into BDSM, this one’s for you, though don’t take it as a manual for how to explore BDSM.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (film)

When her husband returns from war, paralysed from the waist down, Lady Chatterley (played by the fabulous Emma Corrin) finds herself in an increasingly unhappy marriage. Things start heating up when she begins an affair with the gamekeeper Oliver (played by Jack O’Connell). If the actual sex on the barnyard floor isn’t hot enough, the panting after will be (44 mins in).

Eyes Wide Shut (film)

Is this even a “hottest TV shows and films” list without Eyes Wide Shut?! Expect masked orgies, infidelity and sexual paranoia. Don’t remember the plot? Nicole Kidman’s character confesses to her husband (played by Kidman’s then-IRL boyfriend, Tom Cruise) that she considered cheating on him. Cruise’s character then embarks on a sex-filled adventure, diving into one of New York’s elite secret societies. The hottest part is undoubtedly the secret society orgy scene (an hour and 14 minutes in, and lasting for at least 7 minutes).

Featured image by Claudia Love on Unsplash