The Bar Man

We’ve known each other for ages.  We’ve exchanged flirty messages for months.  We finally met up a few weeks ago; right when I had hit rock bottom with guys and needed to inject some fun back into my life.  The date was so easy, it felt natural and right.  I went in knowing you were…

22. A phenomenal Friday night.

The immediate attraction.  The flow of conversation.  The seductive looks.  The flirting.  The cigarette sharing.  The 6 hour build-up.  The energy in the cab home.  The touching.  The kissing.  How weightless you made me feel.  How you grabbed me passionately.  How you picked me up.  How you spoke to me.  How you felt.  What you…

You blew it.

Our date was fun but I came home feeling ambivalent towards you.  I was reluctant to accept a second date, but I thought there could have been some attraction there.  I hoped you wouldn’t spoil it, mainly because you had life experiences , motivation and interesting things to talk about – you ticked a lot…

Please don’t spoil this.

You’re not conventionally attractive.  You’re not my usual type.  But you were keen to meet and drove a distance to meet me. For the most part you were very charming – and flirty.  Conversation was easy and I instinctively felt comfortable with, and trusted, you.  I couldn’t work out if I fancied you.  I liked…

2 very different stories…

Version 1: You match with a guy from Bumble.  You’re chatting for a few days.  You’re unsure on whether to go on the date. Date: he’s a nice guy, but you don’t feel a spark.  He tries to ask questions about you, but he mainly talks about himself.  He has limited ‘chat’ and no giggles….

Let’s not beat around the bush.

In dating and relationships, I’m a real advocate of ‘honesty is the best policy’.  It’s not fun hearing someone isn’t into you, but at least you know.  It’s not fun admitting a relationship has run its course, but at least you aren’t clinging onto false hope.  It’s not fun accepting the possibility that you might…

Is this appropriate..?

Last week I was in hospital. What better way to pass recovery time than on Tinder?  Frequently, I paused to think about how inappropriate it was to be swiping whilst inserted with cannulas, drainage tubes and morphine surging round my body, but then I remembered how bored I was, how crap daytime T.V. is and how…

‘I’m a pretty boring, bog-standard bloke, really’…

I really appreciate honesty.  Having been in a relationship with a liar, I value honesty far more than I did previously.  But I also appreciate allure and want to be with someone other people find attractive, and I’d hope someone I’m dating to want the same out of me.  I don’t think I could even…

The best sex – it’s what you don’t say.

When speaking with a friend recently, we found “let’s come together!” particularly off-putting.  It’s not always easy to orchestrate, you lose focus and think less about your own orgasm and more about being perfectly in sync that you lose any chance of climaxing.   For me, the best sex isn’t just about confidence, attraction and…

Can you be nice and sexy?

This year I’ve learnt that although personality is important, it’s not absolutely crucial and looks are more important than I anticipated. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now and we’ve progressed into boyfriend / girlfriend territory.  According to mutual friends, he had been keen for a while, so we met at social gatherings,…