Thirty is the new 20!

They said.

You’ve got ages to start worrying about all that grown-up stuff.

They said.

And I listened. But over the past few weeks, many of my twentysomething friends have seemed to suddenly grow up; they are:

• Moving in with their partners
• Buying properties
• Trying to conceive
• Actually pregnant

I was under the illusion that these events happen in your thirties not your twenties, so the good news from friends came as a bit of a surprise.

In her TED talk, Meg Jay (an American clinical psychologist) discusses adult development – a critical time for twentysomethings to enhance their personalities, their career options and their love lives. She says that by leaving settling into adulthood (career, partner, marriage, house, kids) to our thirties, we’re really limiting ourselves to the amount of time to tick all these boxes and inadvertently piling on the pressure for ourselves.

Meg Jay offers three key things to achieve in your twenties:

1. Get “identity capital” – do things that enhance who you are or who you want to be
2. Expand your social circle – make friends with people older than you and get to know the friends of friends of friends
3. Work on your marriage before you get married – make deliberate, considered decisions about your love life

Although I’m in no position to move in with a partner, think about getting married or consider having children, I am definitely in a strong position of gaining identity capital, I’ll work on expanding my social circle and perhaps I need to be more conscious of who I choose to invest time and energy in before I hope to develop some sort of relationship.

Claim your twenties – it’s your Defining Decade!

She says.

I think I’ll listen.

Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash.