Can we Rekindle our Relationship?

A year ago today, my ex and I were blissfully happy.  We both messaged a bit this morning, had a nice phone call, and said it’s rather sad we’re no longer together.

The conversation was frank:

  • We miss each other.
  • We still love each other.
  • He is spiralling down.
  • I want to help him.
  • Being friends is tough.
  • We’re confused.

He still loves me and doesn’t just want to be my friend – he wants to be my boyfriend.  In fact, we can’t be friends at all.

I say that my sister is coming to visit me in Brighton this afternoon; does he want to jump in the car?  (I expect he’ll say no.) He said yes.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck.  *Phone call with sister – minor panic.*

Another honest phone call with the ex.

His visiting is a bad idea.  We haven’t seen each other since the break-up three months ago and old feelings will undoubtedly resurface. We continue to talk and he tells me he needs to get his life in order.  I agree.  He says he isn’t what he thinks I need; that I deserve more.  What does he mean?  He says I need someone who lives in Brighton, has a steady job, and who doesn’t drink so much.  I tell him the distance was a problem and the drinking and the drugs were also an issue, but he’s stopped that – so we’re in a better place. We talk about what getting his life on track might look like and consider how we could resurrect our relationship.

Then he tells me, “I think it’s best that we just stay friends.”

“Wow,” I reply.

He admits he wishes we never broke up.  But of course, we needed to break up – he chose drugs over me and lied to me.  He said I should message him at some point.  I told him I’d prefer he be the one to message me as I’m always the one who initiates a friendly chat.

How stupid I now feel for falling again.

And then I receive a message that says: I’m really sorry.

Photo by Alexander Andrews on Unsplash.

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