Almost two years ago I wrote about my love affair with pubic hair and, amazingly, it’s the top post by which people stumble across this blog from Google.

Aside from the catchy title and readers being enticed by a saucy topic, why else is it so popular? Is it because pubes are such a divisive issue or because there are double standards for genders? Or is it because porn shows countless waxed vulvas as the norm for what women’s vulvas ought to look like and men’s apparent preferences.

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I was deeply concerned about men’s opinions of how I chose to keep my pubic hair. I remember asking boyfriends if they liked it when I removed all my pubic hair or preferred a so-called “landing strip”. (Not once did I think that they’d like a “full bush”; this wasn’t shown on mainstream porn, so why would my boyfriends desire it?) What I have since realised is that it was completely my choice about what was going on in my knickers and if any man had an issue with what I did (or didn’t do) with my pubic hair, I should have ushered him out the door. But this never crossed my mind. Perhaps I was worried about rejection or what he might tell his friends.

As I hurtle towards my thirties, I’ve garnered new confidence in taking ownership of my body. The select individuals who end up entangled with me in bed should keep unsolicited comments about my body to themselves. My love affair with my pubic hair has gone from strength to strength; I do what I want with it when I want and I have the unashamed confidence that the person I’m sleeping with can only accept (or reject) me but they cannot dictate how I look.

It seems I wasn’t alone in worrying about the state of my pubes. Open up Google and type in “Should I shave”; at the time of writing, the top suggestion is “Should I shave my pubic hair?” Click on that suggestion and over 3.5 million results appear. Nine web pages appear on the first page; the first link provides “top tips” for women – as does Seventeen, The Guardian connects porn trends to pubic hair, Cosmopolitan tells me a worrying “40% of men have told their partners to change their public hair” whilst Glamour informs me of the new trend of pubic-hair transplants. Healthline gives me 20 facts about shaving our pubes and a couple of pages answer the question “Do I need to shave before having sex?” Incidentally, both pages link to the same website for teenage girls but, reassuringly, advise against shaving just before sex and highlight that pubic hair styling is down to personal choice.

I wonder if over 3.5 million hits for this pubic hair query exist because there’s scant education about agency over how we care for our bodies. Since the summer, I’ve begun writing for O.school, an incredible online sex-ed resource for people of all ages, genders and sexualities. Coupled with the fact that the British sex ed. curriculum is having its first revamp in over 18 years this year, discovering O.school has shown me that poor sex education really is a global problem.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if women in their twenties didn’t feel such societal pressure? Recently, adverts have begun to show shaving products actually removing hair rather than shaving over perfectly smooth skin, which is a step in the right direction. Porn isn’t going to magically disappear – and why should it? Porn was never designed as a sex-ed resource; it’s always been adult entertainment but a problem has emerged that it is being used in place of poor sex education for many young people. Far from removing access to porn (particularly as teenagers are adept at finding whatever they seek on the internet), we need a balanced approach whereby sex education addresses issues young people find themselves concerned over as a result of porn.

I’m not suggesting secondary teachers teach about pubic hair preferences directly but educators need training in how to instil confidence in young people to dictate how they maintain their bodies. One teacher teaching body confidence within one isolated lesson is not enough. Teenagers can be awkward things and typically require much bolstering to help them feel empowered in their bodies. They will always feel the pressure from one another so they should be hearing positive, affirming messages from those of us who are older and wiser.

Who knows whether a full bush will come back in fashion over the next decade or if Brazilians and Hollywoods will be replaced by other location-based styles. What’s important is that young people receive the message that their pubic hair is their own. This needs to be a part of a bigger discussion around beauty standards and advertising ideals as well as a counter-balance to the images they will see in porn.

Photo by Joseph Kellner on Unsplash