Within the BDSM community, one of the most widely practised kinks is impact play – striking the body of a consenting partner for sexual pleasure. So widely practised and depicted as such in the media, that for many outside of the community, “impact play” seems synonymous with BDSM. Typically, BDSM is misinterpreted as spanking and physical power play, and it’s often assumed that causing pain to a partner is the ultimate way to explore BDSM. Guess what? This is not the case.

Know the lingo

Terminology is crucial to distinguishing sexual practices. You wouldn’t want to take on a dominant role after your partner unintentionally asks you to “top” them. They just wanted you to get on top. And you’d be sorely disappointed by someone ejaculating on your chest when you were hoping for a timeless pearl necklace.

Poor old impact play has been under scrutiny and critiqued as a misnomer. Are those who dish out bodily pain abusers in disguise? Perhaps some, but if practised amongst adults who trust each other and within the boundaries of consent, communication and mutual enjoyment (as all BDSM activities should be), impact play is a consensual and erotic activity that is distinct from non-consensual violence or abuse. Importantly, delivering and receiving impact during a BDSM scene creates anticipation, heightened sensitivity and arousal for both the dominant and the submissive partner – quite unlike non-consensual violence. This kink elicits a heady mix of pleasure and pain.

Choose the right tools for the job

To ensure a consensual and safe experience when exploring impact play, using the right tools and techniques is essential to minimise the risk of injury. Adopting proper striking techniques, selecting appropriate impact equipment and being aware of the areas of the body that can safely receive impact must be considered.

With each strike of a hand, paddle, whip, flogger or any other chosen implement, the body might feel a gentle warmth, a sharp sting or a deep thud. The intensity and sensation can be tailored to the preferences and limits of the individual, enhancing the overall experience of pleasure during impact play.

Sensations of different impact tools:

• Paddle: creates a thud as the impact is more localised
• Flogger: creates a stinging and snapping feeling with the impact spanning a greater surface area on the submissive’s body
• Whip: can create a stinging or thudding sensation depending on the type of whip and how it’s used
• Crop: creates a very localised stinging feeling

With all the rules, is impact play really play? Insofar as consenting adults are navigating their sexuality, testing their boundaries and finding connection, yes. Fun can still be had within the confines of guidelines.

Exploring impact play

To enjoy impact play, it’s best to begin slow and build up the force of impact. Gentle pats and rubs with a hand will encourage blood flow to the area and help minimise damage to the skin. Moreover, beginning this way indicates to your partner that skin contact will be delivered shortly.

The impact that can be delivered to a bum is far greater than the impact on the abdomen. A general rule of thumb is that any area of the body with vital organs should be touched with care. Don’t whip someone’s lower back or around their sides because this could harm the kidneys, for example.

Play to experience deep satisfaction

Indulging in taboo desires and venturing into explored territory brings psychological as well as physical pleasure. For some, impact play allows for the exploration of sensations and desires that challenge societal norms and provides a safe and consensual outlet for pushing boundaries and discovering new levels of pleasure. As with all forms of BDSM, aftercare is essential following impact play and may involve rubbing cream into areas of the body that have been targeted or indulging in a soothing bath and a cuddle in a fluffy towel.

Image by Ti Murray-Wyles from Pixabay