All text; no sex.

Whether rooted in truth or not, Tinder is notorious for being ‘the hook-up app’. People constantly say that guys (and probably girls) are only on there for sex. If that is all you’re after, then why would you pass up the opportunity?

Frequently, I pass profiles of men claiming to be ‘a sex god‘ or ‘the best night of your life‘ or conveniently named ‘Dom’ with a suggestive photo that would give Mr Grey a run for his money. Seizing the opportunity to play along, I swiped right to ‘Dom’ – it was a match. What did I receive?

    A question: ‘Interested?’
    A phone number

That’s it. Needless to say, I haven’t messaged him – one reason being there’s no photo of his face (let’s leave aside the issues of internet honesty).

Or we have quite the opposite.

I was messaging a guy for a week or so, he seemed very keen and we’d organised to meet at the station on a Saturday evening. From texting constantly, no word by 5pm on Saturday was odd. I was 20 minutes late to the station. No message. By 6:30pm, I texted him. By 7pm – still silence. I got back in a cab and headed home. On the way back, there was a flood of ‘sorry’ messages and a rather far-fetched excuse. He suggested he come later that evening, so I resisted the urge to don my onesie and went out with my housemate instead.

By 10pm I had drowned my embarrassment and shock of being stood-up and accepted that this was just one of those ‘Tinder-things’. I woke the next day with a foggy head and a text from Mr No-Show asking what I was up to that day. Giving him the benefit of the doubt (or being a naive idiot?), I said I was free in the afternoon.

    Did he text back? No.
    Did he show up? No.
    Have I heard from him since? No.

Maybe something happened. Maybe he had no intention of meeting up and played a very convincing game. Maybe he had a girlfriend and just likes the attention.
I suppose that’s the risk of meeting someone online.

Across the online and real-world dating scenes alike, guys make a plea that girls don’t just text and not follow-through with a date. But it seems it’s girls who more and more frequently are complaining that guys have been a no-show, or are ‘all text; no sex’.
Why can’t people stick with their commitments and go for the Saturday-night drink? You won’t know unless you try.


Photo by Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash

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