Many of us are curious about the partners who came before, particularly when dating someone new. In the early days of a relationship, you might find yourself wishing you could ask about the ex-girlfriend but feeling nervous about what your partner will say. Perhaps you’ve picked up the occasional snippet of her personality from conversations or you’ve laid in bed wondering where your similarities and differences lie.

And then there are the constant reminders of her existence: her name crops up when you’re with your boyfriend’s friends; the artwork in his bedroom doesn’t match his taste; and the book on his shelves about women’s nutrition acts as a relic of a former love.

Yet what about the useful things she left behind? The eye makeup remover, cleansers and nail varnish remover all come in handy when you’ve forgotten yours. And if you’re wondering how to subtly leave toiletries at his house, the ex-girlfriend’s collateral might be an ideal way in…

Before you shun all evidence of your partner’s previous relationship, also consider the positive influence she left behind. Perhaps as a result, your boyfriend is now more certain of what he’s seeking in a relationship, or maybe he’s a more adept communicator because he’s navigated tricky waters with his ex.

The shadow of the ex-girlfriend is only as long and dark as you let it become.

Photo by Marta Wave