Everyone warns you about the catastrophic effect of having children on your sex life. They say: “Your pelvic floor won’t feel the same”, “You’ll hardly find time for each other”, and “You’ll be covered in baby vomit most of the time”.

But having a baby together strengthens the connection between you and your partner. Together, you’re responsible for helping this baby survive (scary!) and thrive. Talk about pressure… but also what a magical privilege.

Before the birth of our baby, my partner and I continued to have sex most days until the day I had our baby. This isn’t a humble brag; we celebrated our first anniversary a few weeks before the baby was born, meaning we had only been together for a few months before we found out I was pregnant. Some would say we’re still in the honeymoon period.

Having a baby is nothing like a honeymoon. Every other conversation was (is) about the contents of our son’s nappy, and walking around with sore nipples and boobs that feel like they might explode mainly results in my boyfriend’s loving, horny hand being swatted away from my tits.

With our newborn sleeping in our room, the times we manage to have sex are few and fairly far between. However, when we do have sex – it’s the best sex we’ve ever had.

Our connection has deepened

We both witness all the small developments our baby accomplishes each week. “He smiled!” “He’s sleeping more at night!”, “He can grab with his hands!”

When friends and family see our son after a few weeks, they notice a difference but we see the tiny milestones every day. And we feel so lucky and proud together.

We feel more comfortable with one another

The walls are filled with conversations about baby poo, my partner saw my catheter bag after our c-section and he’s seen the bloody hospital sheets in our son’s earliest hours. So when we slept together for the first time after our baby was born, we were prepared for anything that might happen.

The sex is less frequent

Regular readers will know I usually consider this bad. But I’ve found feeling sexy with a sensitive c-section scar, when we’re knackered and with our baby making little truffle pig noises next to us is difficult. So when we have sex, it’s incredible for us both – likely because it’s less often.

In between the nappies and the crying, we’re making time for each other and we’re excited to see how our sex life develops with kids in the picture.

Image by Marjon Besteman from Pixabay