Why do people use acronyms on dating sites?

Over the years, I’ve been on many dating sites – sometimes to find a partner, other times for casual experiences. There seems to be no pattern for which apps attract blank canvas profiles and those that call for an essay. On every single app, hundreds (thousands?!) of profiles give away nothing about their creator. You’ll also find fewer (though still many) profiles which tell you their owner’s life story. And you’ll definitely spot plenty of acronyms that can tell you a lot about the person seeking companionship.

(Want to know how to spot a fake profile on dating apps? Read my guide.)

So, you’ve downloaded the app. He looks nice and her profile seems genuine, but what are all those letter combinations?!

Acronyms on dating sites are used for the same reason people use acronyms in any other situation: convenience. Considering some dating sites cap the number of characters available in a bio, using acronyms is an easy way to illustrate what you’re seeking to others.

Understanding the acronyms on dating sites can be the difference between a successful match and a disaster.

What do the acronyms on dating sites mean? I’m here to tell you.

ABDL: Adult Baby Diaper Lover. A unique kink or fetish whereby someone’s into wearing and peeing/pooing in a nappy (“diaper”) or into being with someone who enjoys wearing and using a nappy.

B&D: Bondage & Discipline or Bondage & Domination (we’re the fun lot)

BBC: Big Black Cock (does he really? He might be affiliated with a certain broadcaster – best to check)

BDE: Big Dick Energy (sometimes followed by: “with a BD” and somewhat doubtful)

BDSM: Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission or Sadism & Masochism (we’re the really fun lot)

BWC: Big White Cock (less likely than a “BBC” presenter)

CFNM: Clothed female, naked male (warm for the woman, chilly for the man; a power-play of sorts)

CNC: Consensual Non-Consent (when you agree that “no” really means “yes”)

CNM: Consensual Non-Monogamy (supposedly all partners are okay with their partner(s) being romantic, intimate and/or sexual with multiple people…) – see also ENM

DDF: Drug- and Disease-Free (squeaky-clean, could be a kill-joy)

DDlg: Daddy Dom, little girl (Daddy issues, anyone?)

DFK: Deep French Kissing (snogging)

D/s: Dominance and submission (power play)

DTF: Down To Fuck (while definitely not a prude, could be shagging half the city)

ENM: Ethically Non-Monogamous (the person whose profile this belongs may be in an open relationship, but that’s no guarantee their partner also agrees with non-monogamy) – see also CNM

FLR: Female-led Relationship (who’s the boss? She’s the boss)

FWB: Friends With Benefits (shagging, chilling with a pint, watching TV – different to casual hook-ups and fuck buddies; you have to be friends first)

GGG: Good, Giving, Game (as my housemate pointed out: shouldn’t everyone be GGG? But, alas, I’ve found people promise to be GGG but are in fact CSE (Crap, Selfish, Eager – I made this up, perhaps it should stick))

Any variation of MF, MMF, FMF, FFM (M for male, F for female): describes the constellation of individuals in group dynamics

ONS: One-Night Stands (shag and go, maybe after sleeping)

SWT: Sex Without Troubles (an easy, non-committed shag, por favor)

SQ: Size Queens (ladies favouring the well-endowed. Men claiming to be well-endowed and seeking admiration for their package)

TG, KK, KV, CB, DV: These are fetish clubs; Torture Garden (read: A Night at Torture Garden), Killing Kittens, Klub Verboten, Crossbreed and Dominium Vita

TPE: Total Power Exchange relationship (submissively relinquishing duty to make difficult decisions? Yes, please!)

WLW: Women Looking for Women (lesbian, bisexual or bicurious by another name)

420-Friendly: Uses cannabis or doesn’t mind partners using cannabis (420-friendly can be a euphemism for “stoner” – proceed with caution)

Want to learn the difference between omnisexual, pansexual and polysexual? Here’s my guide to understanding sexualities on dating apps.

Are any other acronyms boggling your mind? Comment below or drop me a message.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash