Found yourself downloading the apps again, expecting to pick from heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual for your profile, yet being confronted by no less than 20 sexual orientations?

Welcome to modern online dating. While many apps cater to myriad preferences by offering a long list of sexualities to choose from, you’d be forgiven for rolling your eyes, swiftly scrolling past all other options and selecting good-old-fashioned “straight”.

But if you think you might be something other than hetero-, homo- or bisexual, here’s how to tell your demisexual from your bisexual and your asexual from your grayA.

What are the different sexualities on dating sites?

Androgynosexual: Someone who’s sexually attracted to androgynous appearances, regardless of their gender. Be a male or a female, just look like both, please.

Androsexual: Sexual attraction to masculinity. You’re oh-so-manly, and I’ve got the hots for you.

Asexual: Not sexually attracted to any gender. You may have a big butt, you may have an irresistible jawline, or you may even have a great pair of tits, I’m just not that into you.

Autosexual: Someone who’s more sexually attracted to themself than to others. You’re hot, I’m hotter.

Bisexual: Attraction towards men and women or people of the same gender and different genders. Not greedy, smart.

Bi-curious: Curious about being sexually involved with men and women or people of the same gender and different genders. I think there’s something to be said for bisexuality… might try it out.

Demisexual: Sexual attraction only after a strong emotional bond has been formed. Only once I really like you and trust you will I want to rip your pants off.

Gay: Attraction towards one’s own sex (typically men attracted to men). Call Me By Your Name, Oliver.

GrayA/GreyA: Also known as “greysexuality” or “graysexuality”, referring to people who are asexual but who don’t feel like they fit into the typical description of asexuality. Ew, sex is gross. Or: I’m not that bothered by sex, but my partner’s keen so I get my kit off for them. Or: I’m not sexually attracted to you but sex feels good, so let’s get it on.

Gynosexual: Sexual attraction to femininity, women or females. Now, now, ladies – form an orderly queue.

Heteroflexible: Someone who’s mostly heterosexual, but occasionally bats for the same team. I’m usually into girls, but…

Homoflexible: Someone who’s mostly homosexual, but occasionally bats for the other team. You’re a different gender than me and I’m not usually into that, but…

Lesbian: Women attracted to other women. Rachel fantasising about the deliciousness of Miriam in Milk Fed.

Objectumsexual: Sexual attraction towards objects. May I peek inside your drawers…?

Omnisexual: Someone who’s attracted to people of all genders. Cis-men, cis-women, transgender, one gender and then another? I want it all!

Pansexual: Attraction to people regardless of their sexuality or gender. Cis-man, cis-woman, transfemale, transmale? I don’t care; you’re sexy.

Polysexual: Sexual attraction to people of many genders, but not necessarily all genders. Cis-men, cis-women, non-binary? Sign me up. Gender fluid? Not my vibe.

Queer: Someone who isn’t sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. Not straight but not gay or lesbian, per se.

Skoliosexual: Attraction towards people who identify as trans or non-binary. Because cis- was so early 2000s.

Straight: Sexual attraction to people of the opposite sex; heterosexual. Adam and Eve, Carrie and Mr Big, Dexter and Emma.

That’s the profile done. Now to understand what the acronyms on dating sites mean.

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