When you’re first dipping your toes into BDSM, it can be difficult to know where to begin. Do you need all the bondage gear? Must you spend a fortune on latex? And do you have to buy stripper heels? After you’ve spoken with your partner about exploring BDSM together, then comes the fun bit: choosing what to buy.

There’s no shortage of kinky outfits online made from a plethora of materials in a wide range of colours, so you’re bound to find something that turns you and your partner on. However, with so much choice on offer, it’s not always clear what’s what and how to choose a fetish outfit. Let me help.

Wet look

Remember when wetlook materials were popular about 10 years ago? You might still find wetlook clothing in some high-street stores – so if you’re apprehensive about shopping in a sex shop, support your local high street. However, if you’d like a choice about how shiny your wetlook clothing is, sex shops will offer more variety.

If you’re after uber comfort, wetlook clothing might be for you because it’s stretchy and has a normal lining so it shouldn’t rub against, or stick to, your skin.

How to care for wetlook clothing

Wetlook clothing is typically like normal clothing: follow the instructions on the care label. Be prepared to use a gentle cycle in the washing machine or handwash with mild detergent.

PVC (aka “PU” or “vinyl”)

PVC is a plastic polymer that coats fabric, giving a super shiny, water-resistant surface that doesn’t need to be polished. Although PVC only stretches a little, it’s easy to put on and PVC clothes often have a fastening (a zip or hook-and-eye). It’s more rigid than rubber so once it’s on, it will look flattering the entire time you wear it.

It’s a great, cheap alternative to latex and leather so a good place to start experimenting with fetish clothing.

How to care for PVC fetish clothes

After each wear, wipe off any marks (from bodily fluids etc.) or lightly handwash your PVC clothes in warm water and a weak detergent solution. For PVC clothes that have seen too much fun, you can soak them for up to 10 minutes or use a soft cloth to rub tougher marks. Rinse your clothing in cold water and remove all detergent from your PVC clothes. Don’t put them in the washing machine and never iron your PVC clothes – PVC is plastic and will melt! Store each item of PVC clothing away from direct sunlight and heat, and individually in a garment bag because PVC can stick to itself, cotton and other natural fibres.

If you prefer the look of super shiny PVC, you can rub silicone lube into your PVC outfits – though PVC is fairly low-maintenance and doesn’t need to be polished.

Latex

Latex is a type of rubber that creates a restrictive feeling when worn. It comes in various thicknesses, resulting in different degrees of comfort and restriction. Unlike PVC, latex does stretch but it isn’t always easy to put on. Stock up on latex-friendly lube and talcum powder so you don’t get stuck with half a leg in a catsuit. When putting on latex, be careful not to catch your latex clothing on jewellery or long nails because a small tear can quickly become a large tear. It can be a good idea to recruit help from a partner when donning latex. Needless to say, if you know you’re allergic to latex, obviously don’t wear it.

It’s worth knowing that latex clothing is made in two ways: cut and glued (giving the appearance of seams) or dipped. Dipped latex tends to be thicker and can be harder to put on. You may want to consider this when buying latex fetish wear. Likewise, it can smell quite strongly, so be prepared when you first unbox your latex clothing.

An improved form of fetish clothing is datex (not a typo). Datex consists of two layers of the garment: the outer shell, which is made of latex, and the inner shell – made from material. This means that datex is much easier to put on and take off than latex. It’s typically stretchier than PVC and can still be polished to give the super shine of polished latex.

How to care for and clean your latex

Always hand wash your latex clothing, ideally in lukewarm water with mild, unscented and colourless liquid detergent. Submerge the latex in soapy water and gently wash for about five minutes before rinsing thoroughly. Don’t twist or scrub the latex. To dry your latex, turn it inside out (as it will dry quicker this way) and let it drip dry from a plastic or wooden hanger (a metal hanger could react with the latex and cause discolouring). Alternatively, lay your latex outfit on a towel and gently rub it, drying all parts of your latex.

How to store latex

Only completely dry latex should be stored. Lightly dust it with talcum powder so it doesn’t stick to itself and store your latex in a cool, dark place. Latex that has been folded for a long time can develop fold marks, so if you can, hang it on a plastic or wooden hanger and store it in a garment bag, or wrap it in a black plastic (or bin) bag.

How to shine latex

For that sexy shine to your latex, you’ll need to polish it with latex shiners. Latex shines come in silicone aerosol sprays, silicone serums or silicone polish – they are either sprayed or rubbed onto the latex. Silicone polish gives a matte shine, unlike aerosol sprays and silicone serums.

Leather

In more mainstream sex shops, leather fetish clothing tends to be in the form of bondage wear (such as leather harnesses) or accessories, such as studded leather gloves for BDSM play. However, if you’re after a leather dress, corset, playsuit or similarly large garment, there are specific online stores selling leather fetish wear.

How to clean and store leather

Leather should be cleaned regularly to extend the life of your leather clothing. Use a soft, damp cloth to remove surface dirt and a special leather cleaner for a more thorough clean. Some leather items can be professionally dry cleaned but you might not want to send your leather chaps to the local dry cleaners… Polishing your leather fetish wear with leather conditioner helps to keep it looking its best. Avoid strong sunlight and wrapping your leather clothes in plastic: leather needs to breathe. Hanging your sexy leather gear, rather than folding it, will also prolong its life.

Bondage wear

As well as latex, bondage wear might be what you think of as fetish wear. These items typically look pretty kinky and include body harnesses, bondage hoods and blindfolds.

Harnesses restrict the body and can be made from latex, leather, faux leather, satin or chains. They can have plugs, cuffs, collars or clamps attached to them and can be designed for men, women or unisex.

Bondage hoods – also known as BDSM hoods, gimp masks or bondage masks – can partially or completely cover the head. They’re often used in Dom/sub dynamics because bondage hoods can depersonalise the wearer and provide sensory deprivation. It’s important to consider safety when using a bondage hood because improper or prolonged use can restrict the airways and end very badly indeed.

Costumes

Sexy maid? Naughty school girl? Slutty nurse or maverick police officer? There are costumes to cater for all fantasies and can help roleplay feel more believable. These come in PVC, cotton or polyester, latex and more. Buying the relevant accessories is also a fun way to get into character.

Sexy lingerie

If the idea of latex, leather or PVC doesn’t get you going, stick with sexy lingerie as you really are spoilt for choice – fishnet, lace, nylon, silk and mesh are just a small selection of the materials on offer and there’s a vast array of clothing options.

Switch it up with men’s lingerie

Like the look of a male body in lacy knickers? Then you might want to try men’s lingerie. Expect to find leather, lace, satin, fishnet and latex in all forms: crotchless, chaps, thongs, boxer shorts and jockey pouches. Just check the sizing as one size may not fit all.

Featured image by TheQueerAI from Pixabay