Have you heard the term “edging” and wondered what it means? Are you here to find out how to do it or learn new ways to incorporate edging into your sexual repertoire? Seasoned edgers and edging novices: read on.

So what does “edging” actually mean? Edging is when a person brings themself (or is brought by someone else) close to climax – the edge of an orgasm, if you will – then postpones having that orgasm so when they eventually climax, it’s stronger and more intense.

Orgasms feel good, so why deny them?

Increased pleasure: Ever had a solo masturbation session rudely interrupted and found that your next orgasm is soooo much better? Precisely.

Experiment with power dynamics: In BDSM play, a dominant person “takes control” of the submissive’s orgasm, tormenting them with edging or orgasm denial. This increases the feelings of subjugation and submission for tops and bottoms, respectively.

Explore sensations: Teeter on the edge of orgasm again and again. Reach the edge through different avenues (manually, orally with a partner, using various toys).

Enhance intimacy: Exploring sexual desires and boundaries with a partner can forge stronger connections and deepen intimacy.

Fuck all night long: Can edging improve sexual stamina? Yes, yes, yes!

Okay then, how do I do it?

Flying Solo

A great way to experience edging is to practise while masturbating alone, using your hands or a sex toy. Seduce yourself; you’re not trying to bash one out before drifting off to sleep. Light a candle, dim the lights, put on your sexy playlist, fluff up those cushions…

When you feel your orgasm building and you’re approaching the point of no return, back off. Slow it down, stop touching yourself altogether, think about the King of England – whatever you need to do to bring yourself back away from the edge. Once you feel the sensation of orgasm subsiding, begin building up to orgasm again. Back off. Build up. Back off. Continue until you can’t hold your climax any longer – or until you’re running out of time and need to head out/off to sleep – then pow! Over the edge, you go. This is called the stop-start technique.

If you’ve got a penis, try the “squeeze” method. When you’re about to climax, squeeze the tip of your dick for about 30 seconds then build up to orgasm again.

With a Pal

Well, with a consenting sexual partner.

Try mutual masturbation using the techniques above. Who can edge for the longest? Afterwards, ask your partner to describe the intensity of their orgasm – it might get you both going again.

Alternatively, you can edge each other. Try edging with handjobs, fingering, oral, sex toys and intercourse and don’t be afraid to ask for feedback alongside reading your partner’s body language. The occasional “How does that feel?”, “Faster? Slower?” doesn’t go amiss and you’ll likely find it easier to anticipate their orgasm and edge them better with their guidance. The easiest way to work out when your partner is about to orgasm? Ask them to tell you when they’re about to come. It can be incredibly sexy.

If you’re exploring edging as part of BDSM play, you won’t necessarily be using inquisitive language. Edging and power dynamics are often best explored when the dominant knows the submissive so they can confidently navigate their signs and cues.

A final note about consent and communication:

If you want to try orgasm control with a partner, discuss desires, boundaries, limits and safe words/actions first. Afterwards, chat about it so everyone involved feels level-headed and positive about the experience.

Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash