Have you ever had an awkward conversation about contraception with a partner? So many of us have. And while the condom convo is more common for new or younger couples, even established couples can still find it awkward.

But at some point, you’ve gotta have that chat. By talking openly about contraception, you’ll build trust and mutual respect, and maintain sexual health for both of you.

Whether you’re starting a new relationship or have been together for years, here’s how to approach the conversation with empathy, honesty, and confidence.

1. Choose the right time

This isn’t a topic to bring up in the middle of a shag or during an argument. Pick a calm, private moment when you both feel comfortable and not in a rush. A relaxed setting — maybe at home after dinner or while on a Sunday stroll — helps keep the discussion open and pressure-free.

2. Be honest and use “I” statements

Start with how you feel rather than what you think your partner should do. For example:

• “I want to make sure we’re both protected and comfortable.”
• “I’d like to talk about birth control so we’re on the same page.”

Using “I” statements helps avoid blame or defensiveness and invites collaboration rather than confrontation.

3. Share your knowledge and ask questions

You might be surprised at how many types of contraception there are, beyond the condom and pills. There are also IUDs, implants and natural methods — and it’s normal not to know everything. You could explore options online or talk to your GP or pharmacist as a couple.

Ask questions like:

• “What methods do you feel most comfortable with?”
• “How do you feel about using condoms or hormonal birth control?”

When both partners are informed, decisions feel shared, not imposed.

4. Respect boundaries and preferences

Everyone’s body, comfort level and health needs are different. If your partner has concerns about side effects, cost, or accessibility, listen carefully. Compromise may be necessary — and that’s okay. The goal is to find a method that protects both of you, suits your lifestyles and respects both of your boundaries.

5. Remember the conversation is ongoing

Contraceptive needs can change over time, depending on your health, relationship, or life plans. Maybe you’ve tried a form of contraception and it has unwanted side effects, maybe one of you forgets to regularly take the pill.

Make it normal to revisit the topic every few months or after major life changes.

6. In it together

If one partner is taking hormonal contraception or undergoing a procedure, show care and appreciation. Offer to share responsibilities like buying condoms, covering costs or booking appointments. Contraception works best when it’s a team effort.

Talking about contraception together can enhance intimacy. By approaching it with openness and empathy, both partners will feel heard, protected and empowered to make choices together.

Photo by Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash