30 Lessons for 30

One month ago, I turned 30. Here’s what I’ve learnt so far: You can be authentic and not give everything away. Don’t feel guilty about giving up on a book after about 80 pages. It may be a bestseller but you’re not hooked – let someone else enjoy it and move onto a different book….

2021 Porn Trends

We all know porn is big business. According to a 2015 report, 40 million adults in the US regularly visit Internet porn sites (though how often the study quantifies “regular viewing” is anyone’s guess), every second 28,258 users are watching porn and yet porn is estimated to only make up 4% of the Internet. Earlier…

Those Chaotic Twenties…

Those chaotic twenties, characterised by comparison and rumination; when career successes brush up against career panics. And Saturday night’s laughter shape-shifts into Sunday’s regret; as frivolous exploration transforms into ‘unbecoming behaviour’. Through which independence beckons and financial demands loom, yet childhood lurks behind our shoulders. But those chaotic twenties, as love, desire and passion are…

Love and Lust in Lockdown: Self-improvement.

Lockdown has got many of us feeling hot under the collar and frisky between the sheets.  To find out how lockdown has impacted our love and lusting, I’m getting intimate with interviews.   George, 30. What is your relationship status? Single.   Describe your love-life in one word. Wondering.   Who have you been quarantining…

Love and Lust in Lockdown: Day by day.

Lockdown has got many of us feeling hot under the collar and frisky between the sheets.  To find out how lockdown has impacted our love and lusting, I’m getting intimate with interviews.   D (F), 33. What is your relationship status? Undefined.   Describe your love-life in one word. Jumbled.   Who have you been…

Adapting

Eight weeks into a global lockdown there seems to be a shift in people’s mentalities: The first six weeks were characterised by silent roads during Monday morning’s ‘rush hour’, empty town centres on Saturday afternoons and quizzes on Friday nights.  Now, the traffic on our roads is almost returning to normal, town centres are a…

Feeling Normal in Non-Normal Times

Last month, I wrote about dating during the time of a global pandemic.  Since then, not much has changed; we’re still all stuck indoors and trying to get our kicks online.  But with a lot of time to think, I’ve been considering ways we’re connecting romantically with others.  Can we form romantic connections online with…

A Hopeful Letter – My Response

Dear A, What a beautiful, candid letter.  A mix of emotions rose up; eyes watering and a smile pinching at my cheeks; thank you for your honesty. I didn’t expect us to get to where we are now so soon.  It’s been a rough few months, hasn’t it?  Breaking up (unknowingly) just before a global…

Moving Forward; A’s Letter – Guest Blog

With time and after a few tearful phone calls, A and I have reached a stage of calmness, acceptance and positivity.  Here’s his recent letter to me (you can read his first one, here).  As with the previous letter; A has said I can post it on the blog.   Dear H, First of all,…

This is how a breakup feels

I didn’t expect the end to feel quite like this. I thought it would be characterised by indifference and calmness. Instead, I’m full of frustration and anger and a constant urge to just say something. I thought it would come in waves and the bad days would be punctuated by good days. More like the…