Everything I knew about love and sex when I was 16. Part 1/2

Inspired by Dolly Alderton in her book, ‘Everything I know about love’.  

Read part 2 (what I know now I’m 26) here.

There is such a thing as the perfect man.  He is my boyfriend.

Getting a boyfriend is easy – just ask a friend for a boy’s MSN details and start messaging.

Sex was only good if he cums – that way you know you’ve done a good job.

It’s better to stay in with your boyfriend on Friday and Saturday night because you’re investing in your relationship – your friends will always be there, or at least at school on Monday morning.

You will never run out of things to talk about with your boyfriend.  You can message back and forth 24/7 and it’s still exciting when their name pops up on your phone.

Sex should happen in a committed relationship.

Orgasming at the same time as your partner is easy – and of course, it always will be.

Because finding a boyfriend is seemingly so easy, you will have lots of fabulous boyfriends after this one.

Your sisters are not to be trusted with love advice.  They are young and immature whereas you are in a long-term relationship, fuelled by true love and therefore a relationship expert.

Saying ‘I love you’ at the end of every phone call is of the utmost importance.  Likewise, sending two lines of kisses.  If one of you doesn’t, you need to have a chat.

Sharing your relationship on social media is the best way to validate your love.

Sex is best at bedtime, in bed.


Photo by David Clode on Unsplash


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