How Does It Feel To Live With An Ex?

Just before lockdown, I broke up with my ex.  It was a strange breakup because we lived together in my home with housemates, so it was always going to be tricky.

We took it slow and cared for one another – then a pandemic hit.  Moving back home for lockdown with my family was both a blessing and a curse.  It meant A and I spent the needed time apart to process the split.  Now, lockdown is ending.  Our housemates have moved on to different homes and we are living together, in a four-bed house, alone.

It’s only been a week and we’re finding it a struggle.  Despite our separate bedrooms, we’re both working from home and when I’m sitting at my desk trying to write, my thoughts are accompanied by his loud voice on the phone to clients.  We’re trying to share the space and both give one another time alone, but it’s hard when we still have to work Monday to Friday, nine to five in the same home and neither of us want to spend the whole of our time in our rooms.

As I expected, the things that annoyed me before our split, still drive me mad.  (And I’m sure he’d say the same about me!)  But there’s no longer that impetus to make it work for our relationship.  Since living together again, we’ve had more conversations about next steps and moving on which has been a welcome relief to heavy silences and me dancing around the topic of being exes and living together.

Maybe my Granny is right?  Maybe it’s easier to live with an ex when you’re older and want to establish a friendship.  For me, I think the issue is moving on.  Whilst I wouldn’t be cruel and bring someone back whilst A is here, I don’t like the idea of waiting a few more months until he’s moved out to pursue people I’ve been chatting with since our breakup, for months already.

Fortunately, we’re now managing to talk about going on dates with other people, what we’re looking for and ask questions about how the other’s date went.

A’s moving-out is imminent.  Until then, we’re trying to navigate our new dynamic of housemates and hope we can save a friendship.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

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