My Girlfriend is Pregnant. Now What?! – Your Guide from an Expectant Dad

So your girlfriend has told you she’s pregnant. Exciting, nerve-wracking time. No doubt you’re subtly Googling what to do when you find out your partner is pregnant and you’re sure to come across a torrent of advice articles. This isn’t a post about how to support your partner through pregnancy; there’s enough of that content elsewhere online. Instead, read on to find out what the expectant dad in my life thought when we discovered that I’m pregnant, and get an insight into what the first few months of pregnancy have been like for him.

What was the first thing that ran through your mind when we found out I was pregnant?

“The exact two words were probably, ‘Oh shit’. I started thinking in double-time, with 100 questions simultaneously running through my mind. When’s the baby coming, how are my finances, can I afford this, where are we going to live?

When my mind calmed down, I thought: ‘Wow, we’re having a baby.’ I keep picturing going to family swimming classes, going on family walks, and teaching the baby new things. I’m elated we’re having a baby and can’t wait! I’m sure the reality will be different when the baby is actually here and it will be much more stressful than I’m anticipating. Because the baby isn’t physically in my arms, I just can’t fully imagine it yet, despite knowing that the scans are real.”

What was it like for you before and during our first scan?

“Ah, to be honest, I was more concerned for you. I just wanted to hold your hand and be supportive – good news or bad news. I was expecting both, to be fair. To prepare for all eventualities, I tend to expect the worst, especially knowing your fertility history and your family’s history of miscarriage so I wasn’t sure whether there would actually be a baby visible on the scan.

I found the reception area in the clinic nerve-wracking. The couple before us received great news and we were waiting for our scan feeling so nervous. This was my first time in a baby clinic so the whole place felt alien to me – even the baby pictures gave me the jitters.

In the scanning room, I wasn’t quite sure where to sit. I chose the chair closest to you and I could tell you were so nervous but from the moment the sonographer put the gel on your stomach and began the ultrasound, we could see the baby instantly. That feeling of having a baby became more realistic. During that moment, I moved from thinking that there was about a 40% chance that we weren’t having a baby to around an 80% chance that we were. And we saw it kicking! To see your moving baby on the screen, I can’t describe it; I was so happy. And just seeing your reaction, how you were in tears. Wow. Ultimately, the news that the baby seemed healthy at this early 10-week scan was all I took in.”

We’ve decided to not find out the baby’s sex. Why do you want it to be a surprise?

“I like surprises. I also want the minimum amount of information possible about the baby so that when it’s born, I’m just in awe. The less I know now, the more I’ll discover on the day it’s born.”

What’s been the most challenging part of the pregnancy so far for you?

“The time restraints of fitting everything in. The fact that we’re moving our separate lives into a joint life together means there’s a lot to do: sell my place, sell your place, find a new home suitable for a baby, tell work I’m moving to Brighton, change my car to one that’ll fit a car seat – all within six months! And whilst all of this is happening, we only have that amount of time to be enjoying things together as a couple.”

What’s been the easiest?

“Our decision-making. It’s been exceptional. I’m so lucky to be in a relationship with a person who has similar views to me, especially on things like design, style, comfort, budget, baby lists etc. We’re both family-orientated yet career-driven, and we’re financially smart. We’ve managed to agree on most things – except names!”

During our pregnancy, what are you most excited about?

“I’m excited about the end of your pregnancy. To take the baby home and be a little family. That would be really special.”

What are you most nervous about?

“Any complications in pregnancy. Your fertility history worries me a bit. I’m also worried about the lack of sleep when we have a baby! I love my sleep…”

The list of pregnancy symptoms is never-ending. How do you look past the bloating, the gassy tummy, the constant declarations of needing to pee when we’re out and still find me sexy?

“Some of the pregnancy symptoms I love. Others, not so much. Throughout the night, you need a wee every hour, which means we’re not sleeping very well. Although it does mean you can make me a cup of tea early in the morning… Just kidding.

On the flip side, your boobs are just amazing. I want to play with them all the time – funny how I’m offering you so many more massages now with your big, big boobs. I think I’m going to be jealous of the baby…

Your increased pregnancy sex drive is also really fun. Not that it needed to increase – it’s how we ended up in this situation [laughs].”

What are you most looking forward to about becoming a dad?

“There’s so much I’m looking forward to. I want to buy a baby sling and walk around everywhere with our baby. I’d also like the excuse to buy a metal detector and go digging around the beach.

Seeing our baby open its eyes for the first time will be incredible and I’m so excited to be called a dad and to tell the baby all my crazy travelling stories.”

What do you think our baby will be like – their appearance and personality?

“Drop-dead gorgeous! A bit like Tommy Fury – did you know he’s half Mauritian? Their skin will be a lovely olive colour.

The baby’s either going to be lovely and sensible like you and have an innate love of reading or it’ll be wild and reckless like me. Let’s hope a bit of both.”