Dating apps are a great way to connect with potential love interests, whether locally or if you’re exploring further afield. Yet before long, someone is bound to want to take the conversation off the platform and probably onto WhatsApp. Guidance on being safe while online dating advises not to share your number with someone you don’t know, but we all know this is rarely followed.

Given that some apps are glitchy, conversations can often be reliably continued on another messaging platform. Other times, numbers are exchanged as a means of verification; is the person who they say they are? When I was active on multiple apps, I hoped that getting a guy’s number meant it would be harder for him to ghost me and I’d be able to see when he read my messages. (Oh shush, we’ve all done it.) Ultimately, those blue ticks elicited neuroses and torment, but I pressed on.

What if someone asks for your number but you don’t want to share it? How do you decline giving someone your number? The simple answer is: You don’t have to share your number with anyone, you can simply say, “No, sorry.” Perhaps you’d like to chat a little longer on the dating app before moving away from the moderated platform. Maybe you’ve previously given your number too soon and were bombarded with messages or ignored. Or you’re in a happy relationship and only downloaded the dating app because you have an interview approaching with the hiring team of said app… (ahem).

Denying sharing your number might make you worry that the other person will think you’re a timewaster/fake profile/cheater. And they might be right but if you’re none of these things and would just like a little more time on the app, here are ways to politely say “No”.

“Would you mind if we spoke here a little longer before sharing numbers?”

“I feel more comfortable talking here than giving out my number.”

“Sorry, I don’t share my number until after I’ve met someone in person.”

Maybe sharing your number feels too personal. Instead, you could offer them your social media handle.

If you’re not interested in the person, you could be direct and say, “Thanks, but I’m not interested.” Expect to be unmatched.

Taking their number might be preferable; “I don’t give out my number but I’d be happy to take yours.”

You could say you had a bad experience of sharing your number in the past (if that’s true) but be prepared that they might ask you what happened.

Don’t fall silent after saying you’d like to chat more because you’ll likely be relegated to the timewaster pile. If you feel like you’re getting along well with the person you’re speaking with, continue to build a connection with them and who knows? Maybe you’ll be keen to share your number and arrange to meet.

Image by Kirill Averianov from Pixabay