Your future girlfriend will thank me.

I taught you how to dress in the style you seek.  I taught you which neck and sleeve lines look good with the way you do your hair.  I demonstrated how some colours suit your skin and hair colour, and how some don’t.  In the minefield you found jeans to be, I taught you which…

Opposites.

What do I want? One was not this, that and the other enough. The other was too this, that and the other. But not enough of this other thing. He was perfect with this other thing. Has that thing affected my love map? Has that person affected my love map?  Undoubtedly.  He’s an alpha.  And that’s…

The wrong guy.

What we had came about so easily. We met through a friend! Our first date was fun and chilled (it was novel having a coffee date when all I’ve had is drinking dates).  Being honest, I was going to cancel because I was interested in someone else – but he turned out to be a…

Do I wanna know..?

Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways? Yes, I do want to know.  It’s killing me not knowing what’s inside your head.  The messages you give off are so conflicting.  Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you’d stay… We have so much fun when you stay.  Please don’t leave….

It’s okay…

It’s okay that: I feel the most empowered when I feel I look hot. praise at work, a fun evening with friends, a caring evening with family is enough to make me feel loved and valued, but it doesn’t empower me. when I drive to work I like seeing who checks me out, whilst simultaneously…

I didn’t believe in ‘too good to be true’…

What a phenomenal first date!  Every single thing was perfect.  There was so much chemistry.  It was a long first date – at least 6 hours out and about, followed by a sleepover. And wow, what a sleepover..! In the morning, you left for work with a genuine promise to text later that day. Oh…

A sexual history by numbers

1. We were together for 7 years.  Pretty wonderful, really. 2.  This was a little weird.  A different man’s body.  You were so fucking awkward afterwards. 3 and 4.  A fun night all around… 5.  The first one-night stand.  Nothing was okay about this. 6.  Gorgeous, younger.  A complete laugh.  We would continue hooking up…

This is always the case; until it isn’t.

I’ve spent most of my dating life learning that “keenness isn’t cool.” DON’T BE KEEN!! they told me. Play it cool. I was told. So how is it that a friend is now dating a girl he once thought was overly keen?  She is older than my friend, she has baggage, she replies at 4am…

What am I looking for?

I sent a whip-around text to some girlfriends a few days ago, asking them to rank these in order of importance for a guy: personality, face, intelligence, figure, sense of humour, relationship with your friends, their friends and their parents.  I was intentionally vague; not specifying if I meant for sex, a date or a…

Ghosting and my mother

It’s been a tough few months and last weekend my mum told me (again) how she wished I had a boyfriend, but noticed: Boys these days don’t want relationships; they just want to fuck around. Yes, Mummy.  That’s true. [So-and-so’s] daughter can’t get a boyfriend either.  Blokes just stop texting her.  It’s called something like…ghosting?…