Just for Sex: Compliment or Insult?

When did people stop exchanging numbers after sleeping together?  If you got on well enough during the evening to then actually have sex (and the sex was good), surely you’d be able to swap numbers.  You saw each other naked – why is it so cringey to ask for their number?  If you do manage to swap numbers, what’s the point in not texting?  Maybe numbers were swapped to avoid an awkward conversation (and therefore ignoring each other is easier), but why not text again to arrange another shag?  And if all you wanted was to keep it as a one-night-thing, then just say it.   I can handle it.  Likewise, don’t pull all those lines about how much you like me; lying your way into bed.  Don’t make me leave thinking you’ll text and we’ll have a whirlwind romance.  I’d rather just know that it was just sex.

 If someone just wants you for sex, is that a compliment or an insult? 

If someone tells you they only want to sleep with you, do you feel smug or sad?  It can be seen in any number of ways for any number of reasons:

  • Maybe he just doesn’t want a girlfriend
  • Maybe he doesn’t want you as a girlfriend (insult to personality)

Either way, it’s a compliment to how you look.

I recently read an article on Cosmopolitan that contains backhanded compliments men give to women. I think something along the lines of, ‘I like sleeping with you, let’s not complicate it’ should be added. There’s the initial compliment of ‘you’re good in bed’, but followed swiftly by the rejection of anything more and the assumption that anything more will be hassle.

I know friends with benefits and no-strings-attached arrangements work, and no two set-ups are the same, but what’s the consensus on the knee-jerk reaction this suggestion creates; do people like keeping sex as sex and nothing more?  I realise it depends, but what do people reckon?

Obviously this is a very one-sided, female opinion – how would a man feel if a women only wanted him for sex?  Maybe I’ll ask around…

Comments welcome.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Friends with benefits can work and has worked for me in the past! More so when I was younger and wasn’t looking to settle. Now, at 26 years old friends with benefits does not work for me. When you are ready to settle that is a bad idea!!!! You begin to like the attachment and then that leads to emotions which leads to a disaster unless the guy is feeling the same way!


    1. I completely understand this; having spent time sleeping with an ex, feelings develop and it starts to go downhill. Thanks for following my blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think if the tables were turned I would excuse myself from their idea of relationships. Men generally, though not everyone of us, seek self gratification without any emotion or commitment. To me that becomes sexists at some point. This, of course, would be no different were the tables actually turned and a man was confronted with the same verbal and emotional abuse.

    Great post. I appreciated reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

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