Ghosting and my mother

It’s been a tough few months and last weekend my mum told me (again) how she wished I had a boyfriend, but noticed:

Boys these days don’t want relationships; they just want to fuck around.

Yes, Mummy.  That’s true.

[So-and-so’s] daughter can’t get a boyfriend either.  Blokes just stop texting her.  It’s called something like…ghosting?

Yes, Mummy.  That’s a real thing.

Maybe there’s something wrong with you?

It’s happened to my friends too.

Maybe there’s something wrong with your friends too?

No.  It’s a real life thing, and it’s ensuring I’m part of a generation of singletons.


At first I thought ghosting only occurred after meeting someone online; someone just stops messaging (which, I suppose, is fair enough; you don’t actually know each other, there’s no harm in ceasing all communication).  But I’ve discovered it actually happens after meeting someone in the real-world; and it’s becoming more and more common with my generation.  Distinct to not messaging after a date, which shows someone isn’t interested and hopefully the other person will get the hint, ghosting is when someone has the intention to continue dating someone and then drops off the face of the planet.  It’s avoidance.  And it’s ridiculous.  People are left stumped as to what they did wrong; unsure whether the ghoster is interested or not.  At 24, I can deal with someone telling me I’m not right for them, so why can’t guys deal with telling me (and apparently some of my friends) this?

You need to have a boyfriend who’s older than you.

If I want to avoid the ghosters, I’ll probably have to find a guy who’s over 34, Mummy!

Great Darling, go out with a 34 year old.

Thanks Mummy…




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