1. First online blind date in a while.

I feel excited about this one (he’s attractive in his photos and he seems fun).

Unfortunately, he doesn’t really look like his photos and he doesn’t seem like he’d be much fun.  In fact, I don’t think he fancies me – he doesn’t look me in the eyes very often.  He answers two phone calls during our date.  Then his mate happens to bump into us at the back of the bar.  His mate is drinking alone, I am kind and say he should join us.  He says he’ll finish his drink quickly…  Forty minutes later, I’m sitting opposite these two guys.  I’m on my second glass of wine while they’re nursing their first beer each.  Their conversation is about mutual friends and it’s hard to get involved.  I text my housemate asking her to save me.  Five minutes before she arrives, I say she’s here and I have to go so I stand up and say my goodbyes.  Neither of the guys stands up and neither says goodbye.  Once home, I receive a text from the guy I was supposed to be on a date with: “Apologies.  Tactful is not the word.”  I’ve deleted his number.

2. This can’t be any worse than the first date.

He’s late and barely says hello before rushing to the bar for a beer.  He drinks it so quickly and I’m wondering if he Googled, “What to ask on a first date” because he seems so nervous.  After 20 minutes, I suggest we play Jenga, hoping this will help him relax.  I was wrong.  By 8 PM, I’ve been clock-watching for 20 minutes.  How early is too early to leave?  Is it rude?  By 8:30, I throw in the towel.  When I say I have to go, he replies, “I’d like to come back to yours for a glass of wine.”  I tell him I have an early start so I need to go.  “Just one glass,” he pleads.

“Sorry, I’m getting in the cab,” I say before heading home.

3. I’m meant to have a date tonight.

I’m going to cancel.

Photo by Jack Finnigan on Unsplash.