Date Week

1 – First online blind date in a while.

I feel excited for this one (he’s attractive in his photos and he seems fun).
He doesn’t really look like his photos and he doesn’t seem like he’d be much fun.
I don’t think he fancies me; he doesn’t look me in the eyes very often.
He answers 2 phone calls during our date.
Then his mate happens to bump into us at the back of the bar. His mate is drinking alone, I am kind and say he should join us. He says he’ll finish his drink quickly…
40 minutes later, I’m sat opposite these 2 guys. I’m on my 2nd glass of wine – both guys are still nursing their single beer. I’m not being included in conversation about close friends and it’s hard to get involved.
I text my housemate, ‘please save me’.
5 minutes before she arrives, I say she’s here and I have to go. I stand up, and say ‘thank you’ and ‘nice to meet you’.
Neither of the guys stand up.
Neither say ‘bye’.
Hysterical, I get into the car.
At home, his text says, ‘Apologies. Tactful is not the word’.
I delete his number.

2 – It can’t be any worse than the first date.

He’s late.
He barely says hello before rushing to the bar for a beer.
He drinks it so quickly.
Did he google, ‘what to ask on a first date’? This feels like an interview with my least favourite question in, ‘so what are your hobbies?’
I rarely feel awkward and am usually bubbly on a first date, but I’m working overtime this evening to keep conversation flowing.
He seems to aspire towards a staccato date.
20 minutes in, I suggest we play Jenga. Surely this’ll help him loosen up and chat.
Oh silly me.
I’ve managed to find a guy who can make Jenga seem dull…
By 8pm, I’ve been clock-watching for 20 minutes. How early is too early to leave? Is it rude?
It’s now half 8. I’m throwing in the towel.
‘I’d like to come back to yours for a glass of wine’, he tells me.
‘I’ve got an early start tomorrow, so no’.
‘Just one glass’.
‘Sorry, I’m getting in the cab’.