1 – First online blind date in a while.
- I feel excited for this one (he’s attractive in his photos and he seems fun).
- He doesn’t really look like his photos and he doesn’t seem like he’d be much fun.
- I don’t think he fancies me; he doesn’t look me in the eyes very often.
- He answers 2 phone calls during our date.
- Then his mate happens to bump into us at the back of the bar. His mate is drinking alone, I am kind and say he should join us. He says he’ll finish his drink quickly…
- 40 minutes later, I’m sat opposite these 2 guys. I’m on my 2nd glass of wine – both guys are still nursing their single beer. I’m not being included in conversation about close friends and it’s hard to get involved.
I text my housemate, ‘please save me’.
- 5 minutes before she arrives, I say she’s here and I have to go. I stand up, and say ‘thank you’ and ‘nice to meet you’.
- Neither of the guys stand up.
Neither say ‘bye’.
- Hysterical, I get into the car.
- At home, his text says, ‘Apologies. Tactful is not the word’.
- I delete his number.
2 – It can’t be any worse than the first date.
- He’s late.
- He barely says hello before rushing to the bar for a beer.
- He drinks it so quickly.
- Did he google, ‘what to ask on a first date’? This feels like an interview with my least favourite question in, ‘so what are your hobbies?’
- I rarely feel awkward and am usually bubbly on a first date, but I’m working overtime this evening to keep conversation flowing.
- He seems to aspire towards a staccato date.
- 20 minutes in, I suggest we play Jenga. Surely this’ll help him loosen up and chat.
- Oh silly me.
I’ve managed to find a guy who can make Jenga seem dull…
- By 8pm, I’ve been clock-watching for 20 minutes. How early is too early to leave? Is it rude?
- It’s now half 8. I’m throwing in the towel.
- ‘I’d like to come back to yours for a glass of wine’, he tells me.
- ‘I’ve got an early start tomorrow, so no’.
- ‘Just one glass’.
- ‘Sorry, I’m getting in the cab’.
3 – I’m meant to have a date tonight.
- I’m going to cancel.