We’ve all gone through stages of having a list of what we need and what we want from a partner. We may have added to the list over the years or detracted from it. Perhaps we scrunched up the paper and chucked it in the bin because someone came along who fit none of our requirements but was somehow perfect.
And although it’s been a rubbish year, amidst the hardship, I’d hazard a guess that there have been some personal lessons learnt for each of us.
Here’s what I’ve learnt in my dating life this year:
- I’ve learnt to trust that people know what they’re looking for. If someone says they’re looking for something casual, they’re looking for something casual until they tell you otherwise. Even if you think you sense them wanting more, believe they want something casual and see if they say they’re looking for something more. This saves heartache and you feeling like a moron.
- If someone acts as though they want you one day but not the next, consider this a red flag. Maybe they don’t know what they want, but they are showing you that they don’t solely want you.
- Consider how you feel in yourself when you spend time with someone you’re dating. It’s unrealistic to expect someone to lift you up constantly and to fill you with joy every waking moment, but if you’re consistently leaving someone’s company feeling less like yourself or bad about yourself, stop dating them.
- You can meet people in very unlikely places, through bizarre scenarios and chance encounters – be open to this opportunity the universe has gifted you.
- Whether you have the longest list or a short list of prerequisites for a potential partner, ‘available’ should be at the top of your list. Someone can be utterly perfect but if they’re unavailable it won’t work.
- Ultimately, only you know what’s best for you. And only you have to live with your life decisions. People may have opinions on the person or people you’re dating and you may heed their advice, but trust your gut instinct; it’s usually right.
What have you learnt this year?