A sexy script I’ve never published.
Choose Your Own Adventure
INT. EARLY EVENING, A LIVELY RESTAURANT
We can hear other people chatting in the restaurant and music in the background. The waiter approaches the table where Max and Rosie are sitting.
WAITER
The Portuguese white?
ROSIE
(simultaneously) Lovely, thank you!
MAX
(simultaneously) Awesome, thanks.
We can hear the waiter pouring wine into two glasses and setting the bottle down on the table.
ROSIE
(to Max) Cheers.
MAX
Cheers.
We can hear the pair clinking glasses as they ‘cheers’ and they both try the wine.
MAX
Mmm, delicious. So how did fixing the bathroom lock go?
ROSIE
Disastrously. It now only works if you don’t pull the twisty bit, so it’s hopeless if you go for a piss in any state other than sober.
MAX
(laughing) Great! So I won’t be asking you around to help with DIY?
ROSIE
It’s unlikely (kisses him).
We can hear the pair chatting in the background as Rosie narrates.
ROSIE (NARRATION)
Max and I have been going out for a couple of months. We met online and split our time between London and Brighton. Over a shared love of wine, similar career cornerstones and regular trips to London, I quickly fell for his wit and intelligence.
MAX (FADES IN)
With your DIY skills and my comedic flair, we could set up a unique business plan here.
ROSIE
Something like ‘Funny Fingers’ or ‘Nailed It!’ We can work on the name…
MAX
‘A bit shit? Not anymore.’
Rosie laughs hysterically then Max joins in.
ROSIE (NARRATION)
I find myself constantly laughing with Max; he’s hilarious and I love how he finds me funny, too. We both understand how language can be a linchpin to a good joke – to an outsider, we seem to be in a friendly battle of who can deliver the wittiest pun over text.
The waiter approaches the table again.
WAITER
Can I take your order?
MAX
Please. Lovely ladies first.
ROSIE
(smiling) Mm. I’ll have the tofu and the tenderstem broccoli, please.
MAX
And I’ll have the Asian-marinated pork. Thanks.
WAITER
Of course.
ROSIE
(under her breath to Max) I’ll resist the temptation to make a marinade-related joke.
MAX
Do your worst.
ROSIE
Okay… umm.
[beat]
Something about tenderising your meat so we have tender, loving sex…?
Max laughs.
ROSIE
(slowly) Or something about making it extra spicy? (a bit faster) Or so it packs a punch…? Marinade jokes aren’t easy, I should have thought this through.
MAX
But you’re nailing them.
ROSIE
(cheekily) Can’t wait to nail you later. You have a go.
MAX
Mine’s bordering on gross. The colonel has his secret herbs and spices, I want you to try my special sauce… A lame effort?
Rosie laughs.
ROSIE
Own-brand sauce, eh? Another career in the pipeline?
MAX
Ha.
ROSIE
Speaking of careers, tell me more about your new job.
MAX
Very similar to the current one but it’s with a mate who has his own, smaller set-up so I get a fancy job title to start and – all going well – more flexibility and money in a year or so’s time!
ROSIE
Go on, what’s your new job title?
MAX
Director of Operations, so I’ll be operating things, director-ly.
Rosie laughs.
MAX
That’s my story, thank you for listening.
ROSIE
Ha, I asked!
MAX
Andy should be a good guy to work for, I’m looking forward to starting.
ROSIE
Mm, a good boss makes all the difference. I’ve worked in places where I’ve felt really undervalued and it’s just killer!
MAX
Effort, achievement and attitude should all be rewarded and extrinsic motivators can be such a powerful tool when used.
ROSIE
Absolutely. People always say intrinsic motivation is superior to extrinsic motivation and I’m not so sure. I mean, look at Pavlov’s dogs, there’s no way he would have gotten them to press a lever – whatever the fuck they did – if it wasn’t for the reward. I’m all about being given stickers, pats on the head, told I’m a really good girl, and all that bollocks if it gets me to do the things you want me to do, I am all up for a sticker!
MAX
Noted.
INT. RESTAURANT – LATER THAT EVENING.
MAX
That was delicious!
ROSIE
Wasn’t it?! Let’s head home and I’ll serve you dessert… (kisses him).
As the couple leave the restaurant and find their taxi, we hear Max wolf-whistle behind Rosie.
ROSIE
Cheeky bastard.
EXT. STREET -> INT. TAXI
We hear a car door open.
MAX
(to the taxi driver) Uber for ‘Max’?
We hear a car door shut.
INT. TAXI
MAX
(kisses her) Come here.
ROSIE (NARRATION)
Max scoops his arm around my back and pulls me across the middle seat, closer to him. He kisses my neck and breathes into my ear and I feel a warm rush through my body.
ROSIE
(whispering) Mmm, that feels good.
MAX
(kissing her neck) The feeling is very bloody mutual. I’m gonna wrappage the shit out of you at home.
ROSIE
(moans) Mmmm, you’re making my pussy tingle.
MAX
(under his breath, breathing into her neck and hair) And I’m throbbing again.
We can hear the car slowing down, stopping and the doors opening.
TAXI DRIVER
Here you go.
MAX
Thanks.
We can hear the doors slam and the car drives off. As Rosie and Max make their way to the front door, Max playfully spanks Rosie’s bum and she shrieks in pleasure.
ROSIE (INNER THOUGHTS)
Love it when he spanks me. Maybe he’ll bend me over his knee later?
The front door of the house opens and we hear the pair walking inside and shutting the door.
Max pushes Rosie against the wall and we hear the couple making out passionately.
ROSIE
(between kisses) Mmm, I can feel (kisses him) how hard you are (kisses him) through your jeans.
MAX
(between kisses) Because I’ve (kisses her) been opposite a (kisses her) beautiful, sexy woman all night.
ROSIE
(kisses him) And I’ve been sitting opposite a very (kisses him) sexy (kisses him) man.
MAX
Stealing my lines again.
We can hear the couple moaning as they make out with each other.
MAX
Let’s go upstairs. I want to use long, slow hands and lips across your body.
ROSIE
(moans) Mmm, that’s so hot.
MAX
Yes, you are.
Rosie giggles and then kisses Max. We hear the couple head upstairs.
MAX
Nice view.
ROSIE
Just wait until you see what’s underneath this dress.
MAX
Mmmm!
The bedroom door opens and closes.
MAX
Come here.
We can hear Max and Rosie making out and moaning into each other.
ROSIE
(moaning) I’ve wanted (kisses him) to get my hands on you all night.
MAX
And mine on you.
ROSIE (NARRATION)
Max slides his hands up my legs, to my thighs and under my dress. God, it feels good.
MAX
Mmm.
ROSIE
Uhhh.
MAX
Not wearing any underwear?
ROSIE
(coyly) I sort of am… I’m wearing a bra, stockings and suspenders…
MAX
Smart-ass. Come here, over my knee.
We hear Rosie moan.
ROSIE (INNER THOUGHTS)
Yes! Been dying for this all evening.
We hear Rosie position herself over Max’s lap and he pulls her dress up to show her arse. He starts caressing it.
MAX
Out to dinner with no knickers. Dear me!
Max spanks Rosie. She squeals in delight.
MAX
All it would have taken is a big gust of wind.
ROSIE
(giggles) Isn’t that the fun of it?!
Max keeps spanking Rosie, slowly at first then a bit faster. We can hear Rosie moaning with pleasure.
ROSIE
Mmm, fuck! Yes!
MAX
You like that?
ROSIE
So, so much.
Max keeps spanking Rosie.
ROSIE
(moaning) Mmm, you’re turning me on.
MAX
Oh yeah?
Max slides his hand between Rosie’s legs and begins to tease her labia.
ROSIE
Uhhh! Uh, yes!
MAX
I can feel the wetness between your lips.
ROSIE
(moaning) Uh-huh!
Max spanks Rosie.
MAX
And feeling your body’s involuntary reactions is incredibly sexy.
ROSIE
It’s you, you turn me on so much.
MAX
(whispering in her ear) Feeling how wet you are makes me want to taste you.
ROSIE
Yeah?
MAX
Straddle my face and soak my beard, please.
Rosie straddles Max’s face and we hear him licking her vulva. They are both moaning enthusiastically.
MAX
(slightly muffled between Rosie’s legs) I like watching you up there.
ROSIE
Mmm. (breathy) Don’t stop, uhh! It feels so, so good.
We can hear Max licking Rosie’s clit and sucking her labia.
ROSIE
Uhh, yes, yes! Fuck…
[beat]
Yes! Yes! Just there. Uh, uhhh, fuck, yes, yes!
[beat]
ROSIE
(breathy) I wanna, I wanna fuck you.
MAX
(slightly muffled between Rosie’s legs) As you wish.
ROSIE
Help me with my dress?
We can hear Max unzip Rosie’s dress and take it off her. We also hear Max undoing his belt and pulling his jeans off. His shirt comes off, too.
The couple is making out passionately and moaning into each other.
MAX
Wanna do it standing, like the other week?
ROSIE
Abso-bloody-lutely!
We can hear a bit of grunting as Max picks Rosie up. She makes a happy high-pitched moan. He’s strong but breathing heavily as he fucks her standing up. Rosie begins breathing heavily, too.
MAX
Uh. Huh, uhh, uh…
ROSIE
Yes, fuck, yes.
MAX
Mmm-hmmm, uh.
ROSIE
(breathy) I can feel (inhales) my clit (exhales), against your stomach. Fuck it feels good.
MAX
Yeah?!
ROSIE
Yes. I’m close.
MAX
Yes, Rosie! I want you to come.
ROSIE
Uh, uhhhh, yes, fuck, yes! Uhhhh.
We can hear Rosie’s orgasm wash over her. She and Max are both breathing heavily.
MAX
(out of breath) My legs are killing me.
Rosie laughs.
ROSIE
(laughing) Put me down then. But can you fuck me from behind?
MAX
Mmhmm.
Rosie beds over the bed and Max is behind her. We can hear the bed squeaking as they have sex. Rosie moans as Max enters her.
ROSIE
Uhh, yes. It feels amazing having you inside me.
MAX
Hm, hmmm, yes.
ROSIE
Yes, hold my hips.
MAX
Mmm, you drive me wild.
ROSIE
You drive me wild!
MAX
Wanna try something?
ROSIE
Almost always.
MAX
Hang on a sec.
Max leans across to the floor. We hear him pick up his belt.
MAX
I’m going to wrap my belt around your waist…
Rosie moans in excitement.
MAX
(continuing – whispering in Rosie’s ear) …Now I can pull you back against me.
ROSIE
Fuck, yes!
We can hear the couple fucking loudly, Max’s body pushing against Rosie’s thighs and bum as he drives into her.
ROSIE
(out of breath) Spank me… please.
Max spanks Rosie.
ROSIE
Fuck, yes!
Max spanks Rosie again and again. She’s moaning loudly, Max makes sexy grunting noises and they’re both out of breath.
MAX
Mmm, yes, rub your clit.
ROSIE
You’re gonna make me come again.
MAX
(Inhales) I’m gonna (exhaling), I’m gonna come, too.
ROSIE
(still breathy) God, yes, Babe!
MAX
Fuck, yes, yesss.
We hear them both orgasm simultaneously. The bed is still squeaking and Rosie and Max are breathing loudly and heavily.
MAX
(sleepily, in bed, slightly muffled against the pillow) Holding your waist with my belt was pretty wild.
ROSIE
And so fucking hot (kisses him). Can we do that again?
MAX
You can choose your own adventure.
ROSIE
Mmm, sex with you keeps getting better and better.
MAX
(sleepily) Agreed. Learning a person is an incredibly intense sexual experience. I love it.
ROSIE
(sleepily) Mmm. I love learning you.
MAX
(sleepily) And you.
ROSIE
Sleep well, lovely (kisses him).
MAX
You too (kisses her). Slide into my dreams.
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash
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