I tried a new tac with this one. We messaged for a bit and then we had a phone call. So by the time our Thursday date rolled round, I had the feeling this one would be a bit different.
Although I was reluctant and nervous for our first date, I still went. And it was a good date. I felt natural with you and we seemed well-matched. You didn’t agree with everything I said, I didn’t agree with everything you said and although our interests didn’t fully overlap, our values seemed similar. It was a date we both drove to, so one pint and one glass of wine was all we could have. How novel to not get pissed on a first date!!
I didn’t want to ask if you’re looking for a relationship, but luckily you asked if I enjoyed being single. Feeling an instant rapport with you meant I could answer honestly. This was something you agreed on ‘100%’. You didn’t ask if you could come to mine for a nightcap and you didn’t make crude jokes.
The drive home was a monologue to my friend. We go through these ups and downs together, and I am eternally grateful (and surprised!) she doesn’t ignore my calls yet. I burst through the front door, woke up my housemates and did the rounds; giving each one a play-by-play of this successful date. The possibility of him turning into a ghost was still very real so I kept my excitement measured and remembered to keep some perspective and take the date for what it was: a good date with no promises or guarantees.
He texted before I went to sleep and we had a phone call the next day. This WAS different.
And then I went to India two days later. Would he carry on messaging?
Yes, yes he would.
Back in the UK, we arranged for a second date. Having messaged one another back and forth for nearly three weeks, we were getting to know each other and I was excited to see him again, and he told me he was looking forward to seeing me too.
Thursday afternoon’s promise: a drink along the seafront, a game of crazy golf and a wander along the pier. Then who knows?
Thursday afternoon’s reality: he arrived late, I chose the place for a drink, he was yawning on the bus and quiet, he didn’t look at me much. Crazy golf didn’t happen. The walk along the pier was strained. We headed back to mine. He was yawning on the bus again. He said he wasn’t sure he could manage meeting housemates so let’s do something else another time. Being
enthusiastic incapable of reading the signs, I suggested we get together tomorrow!
Don’t try and guess what he’s thinking. Name his quietness and text him.
Said my housemate.
So I did:
It was lovely seeing you again and getting to know you more. You seemed a bit quiet, is everything okay?
Two hours passed.
Then I received this:
And you! Sorry I was a tired mess and couldn’t stop bloody yawning! Tbh, I’m not sure this is going to progress romantically. Had a great time with you and would more than happily see you again but it would just be a bit of fun for me, sex, a snuggle etc. I just can’t see a relationship out of it. Just being honest with you x
- The honesty is definitely appreciated. I’ve always maintained that I’d rather a bloke tell me he’s not interested than ghost me. And I can cope with it.
- We only had two dates over three weeks, so no time was wasted.
- But I feel led-on. He gave off the impression of wanting something more and not being a fuckboy.
So now what?