Love and Lust in Lockdown: Discovering the magic.

Lockdown has got many of us feeling hot under the collar and frisky between the sheets.  To find out how lockdown has impacted our love and lusting, I’m getting intimate with interviews.


Miles, 32.

What is your relationship status?

Complicated.  When I lived in the US, my girlfriend and I got married so I could get a green card.  We have since split up, so I’d probably say separated.


Describe your love-life in one word.



Who have you been quarantining with?

My sister, her husband and her kid at their home in Brighton.


Has the lockdown impacted your sex life, if so – how?

Definitely.  I met with someone from Feeld just before the lockdown was introduced – think of it as one last ‘hoorah’.  Since then, there hasn’t been a lot else going on, to be honest.


Have any of your desires/fantasies changed during the lockdown?

Not really.  I’ve wondered whether there’s something wrong with me wanting interesting sex, but no, I don’t think there is.  I’m going to keep actualising my desires.


Describe your lockdown experience in three words.

Useful.  Self-loathing.  Insightful.


What have you missed the most about ‘normal life’?

            Not much.  I’m seeing family and friends and I could say ‘pubs’, but I meet up with a friend and have a beer in the park every few days.  Do I need to spend four hours in the pub and get a burger on the way home?  Probably not.


What coping mechanisms have you adopted during the lockdown?

When I was staying with my sister, it felt like a rehab facility.  My porn-consumption has increased.


Has the pandemic changed the way you approach love and romantic relationships?

It’s given me time to sit down and think, you know, I’m 32.  A lot of my friends are settled down and it’s made me ask friends what the magic is of staying in one relationship.  Staying with my sister made me think, ‘yeah, I do want a kid – it’s incredible, my sister and her husband are just raising this kid.’


What are your hopes for love after lockdown?

There’s a pressure for everything to be okay after lockdown.  But I think dating will be more clinical.  People will say ‘I want this’ and ‘this is what I want’ and this will be to the detriment of dating.  They’ll think of it as progress – hey, they’ve narrowed the pool, but really they’ve come to these conclusions alone.  They haven’t made these decisions based on clinical trials, just solo ideas.  Don’t think you’re smarter than other people.  Don’t change the way you go about dating.


Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

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