I think it’s much better to be wanted than needed but is it rude to tell someone you don’t need them?

Here’s why I don’t need you:

• I can cook well
• I drive myself around and sort out any issues with my car
• I have my own social life
• I’m happy to go to a restaurant alone for lunch or dinner
• I can zip up (and unzip) my dress on my own (see also: fasten my necklace)
• I can reach the top shelf if I stand on the counter
• I can change the light bulbs if I balance on a chair
• I can assemble furniture on my own
• I can fix a broken fridge
• I can rewire a plug and do all sorts of DIY
• I can troubleshoot why the T.V. or internet isn’t working
• I earn my own money

So when I say I don’t need you, it’s a compliment; I want you in my life.

But when you say you need me, I am filled with sadness, even though you think you’re being kind. You say I support you, care for you and make you a better person. It seems the reasons you’re with me are for your own benefit, not because I make you happy or because we have fun together, but because I help you be a better version of yourself.

…

Telling me you think I’m amazing and that you love me every day isn’t enough.  You need to prove it.

And whilst it now feels like I’m back where I was, in a relationship that benefits you and saps my energy, at least I’ve remained less attached and can see the whole picture.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.